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Author Topic: Zowayix's Procrastinated Anime Reviews  (Read 8721 times)

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Zowayix

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Zowayix's Procrastinated Anime Reviews
« on: August 31, 2014, 05:25:21 am »
After countless years, it's the topic of a lifetime nobody was really waiting for. I finally got around to doing this like I said I would, except I shouldn't say that just yet, because I might die in between writing this preamble and finishing this post. Then it wouldn't count.

But anyways, let's get to the point and enjoy this awkwardly written review about possibly awkwardly written and maybe not anime. The first anime that will be reviewed here today, after many[1] beers on a Friday evening that one time (a few weeks ago actually so this review is partly from memory but I will watch it again for a bit as to not talk completely out of my ass), is KissXsis. Or Kissxsis. Kiss x sis. However the f**k you're supposed to format the title. This has been called 'the most fucked up anime ever' by some kid on YouTube who made a list of said categorisation. Of course I felt the need to investigate.


Picture related because otherwise this whole thing looks like a wall of text. Also so you know what you're getting into in terms of art direction.

So, before watching, I thought this show was about lesbians. I don't know why I thought that, possibly I had it confused with Sakura Trick for some reason or because the picture above looks like they're lesbian sisters, but it isn't. It's about (heterosexual) incest, and it's a comedy and not some romance drama. Well, there is romance drama, but primarily comedy. But I'll get to that as I go along.

Because that explanation didn't make sense when I just typed it and hence won't make sense to anyone who reads it: This is a comedy series about some guy whose name is Keita or something like that, and he has two sisters named Ako and Riko, the latter of whom I keep going to call Rito for some reason and for some reason doesn't take that friggin' goddamned bandage off her face and it rustles my jimmies. Also, those two call Keita Kei-chan just to confuse the Higurashi fans in the audience like myself. So the majority of the series is about Ako and Riko trying to flirt/have sex with their brother. Actually, they're his step-sisters. Clearly anyone who would watch this anime is the type to start getting offended if they were actually blood related so they have to hand wave that away. Keita being a harem main character though, is mandated to not just jump at the opportunity. That, and like people in real life would in the same situation, he probably just doesn't want to have sex with his step-sisters. OR DOES HE???///??/question mark

Along the way, we meet some auxillary characters such as Keita's friends who act more like dudes that Keita is forced to hang out with more than his actual friends, who are perpetually baffled as to why Keita doesn't just have sex with his sisters (they don't know about the step part). Also some poor busty glasses chick who gets dragged into all this mess, an obligatory loli who also provides the required quota of the words 'senpai' and 'kōhai' who is way too perverted for her age, and a really fucking hot teacher. Damn she's fucking hot. I'd take her classes.


(pic related: delicious)

The first few episodes center around Ako and Riko's attempts to get their brother to f**k them, and said brother's thoughts being among the lines of "Hey maybe it would be pretty hot if I- nah that's pretty fucked up dude I probably shouldn't". So I watched the first few parts and I was like "Yoooo, what the f**k?". Then it continued and I was like "Yooooooooooooo...." THEN THEY MADE CHOCOLATE LIPSTICK AND I SAID "YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!" I couldn't fucking believe what I just saw, YET I COULDN'T STOP WATCHING IT AND THEN THAT TEACHER WAS WEARING THE DUDE'S USED JOGGING CLOTHES AND THEN SHE... YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO[2]!!!!!!!

Copypasta aside, it was slightly entertaining in a way. Also, I probably should have mentioned this earlier, but this show is highly NSFW. My boss told me off for even mentioning it at work. Well I say if you asked me what I did with my weekend in the context of polite conversation it would be impolite of me to not tell you. I can't win. Anyway yeah, totally show it to kids dude it'd be funny don't show it to the youngins. This was actually on TV though, so they can't get away with any showing of nipples, but there are mentions of pubic hair and girls pissing on people's heads and whatnot.

Anyway, around the middle part of the series, Keita starts questioning some questions. Things like "If I did actually marry my sisters, how would that even work?" and other philosophical debates. They travel to Akihabara where they learn that their teacher is as much of a sexual deviant as they are, and apparently it's her goddamn business whether or not her students are having sex with their own step-brother (despite apparently that being legal). Also we meet their parents, who apparently are trying to set up their children together. This is more hilarious than it sounds. So, there's that, and the fact that Keita actually has exams to study for. Actual drama ensues, as he doesn't know whether he's actually going to pass or not given that his damned sisters keep distracting him. Not that the romance is ever put to the side, though later on it does seem to focus more on the glasses girl that I can't remember the name of. It is a harem, and as such the guy's supposed to end up in manufactured situations that hint towards him ending up with every girl he meets along the way, it just feels like she has more of those situations. Not that it matters, because it doesn't end with him being in a relationship with anyone. Kind of feels like a letdown, but maybe there's supposed to be a second season. I don't know. My understanding is that there's some OVAs, which are apparently more explicit. I might watch and review those some other time.

I will make a point of reviewing the soundtrack of everything I talk about that has one, so: The soundtrack. Nothing really to see here. Just... nothing. Well, I don't mean as though there isn't a soundtrack, but it's completely and utterly generic and non-notable. Not horrible and unlistenable, just bland. The composer (Mizuki Ueki) doesn't even seem to have done anything else in their career that I could find, of course, it could be an alias for some more well-known person who doesn't want to be associated with incest harem anime. I suppose if you were doing a striptease and you wanted some background music for it, Otawamure Massaichuu sort of works, but well, I only really mention that because it's the only song I could remember. I couldn't even remember the name even if it was translated, I just thought "yeah I guess there's that one jazzy sort of song that played during the erotic scenes". As for the opening/closing themes.... eh. When I first watched this, the YouTube videos didn't even keep the opening credits in there. Before I wrote this review I watched it again, and found a version that does, and it's nothing special. Ending theme is pretty generic as well, they have Ako and Riko doing a convoluted dance during it. I think they were going for a Hare Hare Yukai vibe, but they didn't realise nobody cares about the ending theme here. Just generic J-pop with (subjectively) bleh singing, of course your mileage may vary and you might like the vocalists. I didn't, and this is coming from a person who enjoys all kinds of anime ending themes. This one was just.... meh. Not "OH GOD WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS AAAA", just meh.

Overall, it was okay, if not slightly predictable. But good for a few shits and giggles. Not the most fucked up anime ever by any means, though it is rather lewd.

Final Score: I was drunk / 10

[1] The word 'many' here refers to exactly one standard drink. I'm not a lightweight shut up
[2] She masturbated.

And here's this crap.
« Last Edit: April 01, 2015, 04:45:31 am by Zowayix »


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Re: Zowayix's Procrastinated Anime Reviews
« Reply #1 on: September 29, 2014, 06:15:10 am »
Dare I throw together another review that nobody is going to read either? Well, why not.

So today I will be reviewing (unless I change my mind halfway) Haganai, which is also known as Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai or some crap, which translates to "I Don't Have Many Friends". The DVD cover says Haganai so I'm going to go with that, even if it sounds kinda stupid. To be fair, "I Don't Have Many Friends" sounds stupid too, but anyways. This show is perhaps a staple of weeaboo culture, in that it invented Wizardchan (indirectly through a quote) and yaoi holes. But is it worth watching? Well, let's see. Or rather, let's saw, because I finished watching and hence now I'm writing the review as opposed to writing the review while watching it at the same time.

So, starting with the first few episodes so this review sounds remotely coherent, this is a comedy series about this dude named Kodaka (nothing to do with cameras hurr hurr), who doesn't have any friends, because everyone assumes he's a douchebag because he has blond hair or he's American or whatever. So he meets some chick named Yozora who seems like a nice person who just talks to her imaginary friend (she also doesn't have any), but that only lasts for the first episode and then she becomes full tsun for no reason. They start a club for people who don't have any friends, expecting nobody to join it, but then that Sena person who I only knew about from avatars and one of my mousepads comes along and despite being a himedere doesn't have any friends either joins.

The first 2 episodes are more or less Kodaka getting ostracised unfairly, and Yozora and Sena bitching at each other. Mostly the latter. Not even creative bitching, just pointless name-calling. So it's basically not very funny, and if it wasn't for the fact that it sets up the characters for the rest, I would advise you all to just skip to episode 3. I don't know why they act like this is the pinnacle of comedy, this is the kind of s**t you would watch a typical shitty Western sitcom for. It's a good thing I have a superpower where I can know if something's going to be good or not in advance. Anyway, in episode 3, some other more likeable characters join, and the show develops into actually being funny. Also, Sena becomes a bit more likeable from episode 5, which I think is actually an impressive feat, because normally an arrogant princess type would end up being the most scrappy character you can get in most series. She's not as good as the other 4 girls (or however many it was), and maybe not waifu material, but she is a character you can make comedy out of, and that sort of thing. You get the idea. I suck at wording things, but yeah. Also, there's a dude who was born a girl and then he dresses up like a girl anyway because reasons so you may have to check your privilege I dunno. He's cool though. Transgender people are pretty cool. You're all cool.

Picture unrelated: Sshh! You wanna get sued? Anyway, that was just here to break up the text.

Yozora's still an arsehole and still kind of boring, but around the last part of the first season some dramas and stuff get thrown in there which attempt to explain things. There are actual plot twists in this s**t. In a harem comedy. Definitely made me go "WHOOOAAAA HOLY s**t" the first time I saw it, even though it's not that much of a twist when I think about it in retrospect, and you can sort of see it coming. Perhaps it's the unexpected in genre factor that makes it interesting.

Either way, it was enough for me to buy the DVD of the second season, which despite having a different title (Haganai: NEXT) I will consider to be the same anime and hence keep reviewing. I took this opportunity to check out the dubbed version. I'm usually a dub fan, but I had to switch to Japanese audio for this one. It's not that the jokes don't work or whatever (I've actually heard that the first season's dub actually has some actual comedy in the first episodes instead of name-calling and various bitching), it's just... the accents. I suppose it's just me. I don't do Californian accents due to bringing up memories. Sena reminds me of you know who too much for some reason anyway, but putting all that drama aside with awareness of the no drama rule here, yeah. You'll have to get someone else to review the dubbing.

However, I did see the back of box said something about some uncut footage, so I watched with great anticipation. So I watched the first episode, and Yozora convinces Sena to wear stupid objects on her head and I was like "Yoo, what the f**k..." and then Kodaka goes to Sena's house (her dad's pretty funny) and she has this room where the walls are covered with pictures of Yozora and I was like "Yooooooo...." AND THEN THE MAID GAVE HIM SOME CONDOMS AND I WAS LIKE "YOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"[1] I COULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST SAW, AND YET I COULDN'T STOP WATCHING IT AND THEN SENA WAS LYING IN HER BED THINKING ANGRY THOUGHTS ABOUT YOZORA.. AND SHE... YOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![2]

It's not all fun and games, because aside from the aforementioned plot twists and drama, you also have feels. Not like you start crying bricks feels, but it does suddenly stop the laughter at some points to stab you right in the kokoro. It did for me, at least, this series and Higurashi are the only ones so far which have managed to stab me with something eerily specific to my life[3]. No tears were shed, except internally. I suppose it's also the genre factor. As the old saying goes:

I don't mean that in a negative way, though, it's actually pulled off quite well. Sort of like it deconstructs the harem comedy genre, but not quite, as it goes back to fun times a few seconds afterward.

I did say I'm going to review the soundtrack in everything, and I really mean it. So, this time around the composer is actually someone that someone might have heard of, it is Tom-H@ck who is known for writing a bunch of themes and insert songs from K-On! and also that one track from Gran Turismo 6. It is still nothing entirely special, as comedies usually are, however it does overall set the scene well, particularly tracks like Utsukushiku Harebare (song title romanised because I ain't typin that moonrune s**t) and Honki no Massugu na Omoi, which underpin the aforementioned dramatic scenes (and are nice little neo-classical/piano tracks on their own). Also Gorigori which plays near the end. There's more stuff in there which doesn't suck, but I'm not going to list like the whole thing. It all shows this Tom-H@ck guy isn't some talentless h@ck[4] and can do a whole lot of stuff in a bunch of different styles if you pay him enough. As for the themes, the second season's opening theme is kinda cool, the rest I didn't pay much attention to.

However, despite the light novel series still going on, the anime sort of ends at season 2. Not like officially "THERE WILL BE NO MORE HAGANAI EVER" ends, just they haven't made a season 3 yet when they really should, and that bugs me. I kinda want to know what happens especially given the events of the last few episodes which I won't spoil but it was a goddamn HOLY s**t BALLS ON A TITTIES moment. So if you're those people who decides which animes get new seasons and which ones don't, please do this one. Please? Some 22 year old Australian dude wants you to make a decision which has implications of millions of dollars. Come on now.

So yeah, overall, this was pretty good, I wouldn't say it's the best anime ever because it starts off a bit crap, but so far one of my favourite comedy anime.

Final score: Still 8 years till I become a wizard / 10

[1] Actually I was literally rolling on the floor laughing for a minute or two but just roll with the copypasta.
[2] Pretty sure she masturbated, unless I'm misinterpreting things. I suppose it makes sense that this is uncut footage.
[3] Without spoiling too much (depending on your definitions of spoiler): Because Kodaka has a hard time fitting in through high school, he immediately responds to concrete evidence that someone might actually like him with brushing off and "What are you talking about". Feels bad man. Feels even worse when he gets told off for doing so.
[4] I'm sorry. That was terrible. I'll show myself out now.

http://imgur.com/a/vAe9a
« Last Edit: April 01, 2015, 04:26:47 am by Zowayix »


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Re: Zowayix's Procrastinated Anime Reviews
« Reply #2 on: October 26, 2014, 06:11:27 am »
I'm still here. Are you still here? If you're not actually reading these reviews, please tell me. And also let me know if you're not reading this paragraph here. But nah, for reals though, tell me if these reviews are terrible or if you want to read more of them or both. It's cool. We cool dawg, I won't be mad.

So you guys don't think I only review comedy series, tonight I will (unless I take too long and leave it for tomorrow) reviewing Future Diary, also known as Mirai Nikki. If you're a fucking weeaboo. We speak English in this country. Anyway, this is an action/thriller series (which I do actually prefer to comedies overall) about diaries which tell the future, hence why the title is literally Future Diary. Nice and succinct and sensible. I like that in a title. Off to a good start.

I actually finished watching this like two weeks ago, but since when do I have a track record of reviewing stuff in a timely fashion? Maybe one day, I'll actually watch an anime, and then review it when it's still fresh in my head, and then my reviews won't sound so stupid. Maybe. Maybe I should just stop reviewing, who knows.

Anyway, let's pretend that I'm reviewing this properly like actual good reviewers do. So we start off to this kid named Yukiteru Amano, who-whoa. I actually remembered the full name. That doesn't happen often. Anyway, yeah, so he's this ordinary dude who doesn't talk to anyone at school, and instead fiddles with his phone all day. Also, he's friends with the god of space and time in all his obvious CGI glory. Wait, what? Okay, so maybe not so ordinary. So anyway, Yuki one day finds that he wrote some stuff in his phone that he didn't write and gets confused, and Deus (the god guy) is all like "Yo dawg, we herd u like phones so we put a phone in yo phone we upgraded it so you can see into the future and s**t". Deus is a bit like Ryuk from Death Note, in that he gives the main character his eponymous device, doesn't tell the main character things that he might want to know, and he's sometimes kind of a dick.

So the first thing Yukiteru (I can't remember if it's abbreviated as Yukki or Yuuki or whatnot) does is cheat on his test, naturally. Apparently nobody tells him off for using his phone in a test. Japan schools must be wack, or something. It reminds me a bit of Death Note, in the parts where Light uses his Death Note for boring purposes at the beginning like killing street thugs. Also, he meets this hot chick named Yuno Gasai. I'm not going to bother posting a picture, because Yuno who she is alread-



I'm sorry that was terrible. I keep making that pun unintentionally, though. Gasai should get back to re-

Alright, alright. Put down those tomatoes. Anyway, they have to play a game (which isn't really a game) where they have to kill all the other people who have diaries which can tell the future. That's not quite like Death Note. Other than that, this series is a lot like Death Note, except instead of notebooks that kill people you have diaries that tell the future. I would almost call it a spiritual successor, due to the large amount of really cool scheming and really crafty and awesome mindgames and morally ambiguous main characters and designated villains. It is a whole lot more violent than Death Note, though the box only says MA15+. I'm not one to care about ratings but I did find myself disagreeing with the classification board over the course of the series. Got some brutal deaths and major injuries and nudity and even a rape scene or two. It's not even that they don't rate anime higher than MA15+ either, because I have Gantz sitting in the "to be watched" pile over there, and it's R18+. Which makes me want to watch that to see what makes it even more ratingy than this. Anyway, that's not what I'm here to review, but perhaps it'll be up next.

The dubbing by Funimation here, incidentally, is actually a great job. The voices aren't Californian for starters, and they convey the characters' emotions correctly without being stupid. Also, it uses some words and phrases from the internet in context, such as "DO NOT WANT" and "furry" and "butthurt". Mostly in the bonus comic relief segments at the end of each episode, but yeah. However, I'm not sure if this is because of the dub or the original had the same dialogue as well, but there are some things like this scene <I'll get a picture from the DVD later>
COUGH AHEM I'LL GET A PICTURE FROM THE DVD LATER APPARENTLY THAT MEANS OVER 4 MONTHS

where the chick states, in a flashback, that she's going to get married here one day. Right up there? On that ledge? Wouldn't you rather go down there where the chapel is? I think that would make more sense.

So, the soundtrack, as I always do. It's FRIGGIN AWESOME. It goes up there as one of my favourite anime soundtracks of all time. The only problem here is that for whatever reason, the soundtracks are only available as Blu-Ray collector's edition versions, and essentially will cost you like $500 (not even kidding). So sadly I'm going to have to recommend you download it. I actually really wanted to give these guys my money. Not $500 money, but a reasonable amount. I'd even settle for it being on iTunes and making me boot up a VM with iTunes on it just to buy it that way. It's that great. Right off the first volume, you have stuff like Norikoeru beki wa Satsugai Kyoufu, which features electronic shenanigans you don't often see in anime soundtracks and it makes you wonder why not. And right after that Accel Mind, which is the most appropriate usage of a 303 in electronic rock I've heard in a while that easily fits in any action scene you ever want. Just try hanging out your washing with it playing in the background. In fact, the whole fucking first volume is awesome. I don't think it would make sense to link to each and every track, but yeah. For similar reasons, I won't bother linking to the other volumes, and not just because I haven't looked up the tags yet and the torrent I downloaded had stuff like "Track1" "Track2" and whatnot. Just take my word for it that it combines electronic stuff with great orchestral stuff, which makes for some fucking great action and scary scenes. The guy who composed it went on to do the soundtrack for that gnothingwrongwiththatay swimming anime, which now that I went to look that up too, is suprisingly good. So Tatsuya Katou is a dude to watch out for.

As for the opening themes... Fuckdamn yeahballs. The first opening theme is "Fantasy Mythology" by Yōsei Teikoku, and let me tell you, it is FUCKING GREAT. Instead of going for the generic soft rock that ends up in most other shows of this nature and doesn't really fit, they went down the symphonic metal route. It really pays off, and as a result, I ended up listening to it like 35 times in the last week (when I downloaded it along with the rest of the soundtrack), which is impressive given my 3 months top played usually goes up to 36-40 per track. The only complaint I would have about it, and what stops it (maybe) from being my favourite song of all time ever, is that the ending seems a bit weir-

WHOAAHHHH. It's like a metaphor for the actual show. s**t. You hear it, and it's so spectacular you never want it to end, but at some point it has to, and perhaps for that reason any way would seem like a letdown but the way they did especially so. For the song the ending isn't too bad, it's just that "Shinjiteta" doesn't sound like an end-the-song combination of syllables, in fact it just sounds more like the song was going to be around 5 or 6 minutes (obviously not the "TV size" version in the show) but at the 3:56 mark the producer went "Hey guys sorry I'm going to have to stop you there" for some reason. Also, what I find interesting is that the lyrics indicate it was written for the show specifically and not just licensed, but it does have an official music video (or PV if you will) that doesn't have anything to do with futures or diaries. Higurashi does that too with the title theme of the same name, there are some other anime songs that have music videos too but they might be just made before the anime came out and they just use them because they can. Anyway, the second opening theme is "DEAD END" by Faylan, which isn't quite as good because it isn't Fantasy Mythology, but it's still alright. It's not symphonic metal but it's decent J-pop. The lyrics are in English, so you might be able to sing along to it, though she does have a very strong Japanese accent. Still sounds alright, but I don't know if anyone told her Western people don't usually yell "Break out!" like that. So in that sense, it is perhaps a bit narmy. It has a music video of the same unrelated-to-the-source nature as well.

So anyways, with all these plot twists, non-mindless blood and guts, awesome soundtrack, decently enjoyable romance/comic relief subplots, likeable characters, and all that stuff, I was sure this was going to be my favourite anime ever. Perhaps it still is, but then I reached the last few episodes, and... I'll rant about that in a separate Pastebin or something after I'm finished but before I post this to avoid spoilers (here you go), but yeah, the ending's kind of bullshit. Which is very disappointing, and it also makes it hard for me as a review to recommend the series in its entirety. What am I supposed to say? "Hey guys, this anime is great, but after episode 23 stop watching and go to fanfiction.net for the rest instead"? I don't think so. I have been informed that there is an OVA which makes more sense, but I haven't watched that yet. When I do, I'm not sure to either consider it part of the series and amend this review or review it separately.

Final score: tfw no yandere gf / 10

[1] Whoops forgot to try to be funny by putting footnotes in here


EDIT: Secret evil additions, still haven't got around to that picture

EDIT 2 ELECTRIC CAPSLOCKAROO: Imgur spam dawg homie yo
« Last Edit: April 01, 2015, 03:56:13 am by Zowayix »


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Re: Zowayix's Procrastinated Anime Reviews
« Reply #3 on: October 26, 2014, 03:19:11 pm »
I like reading these reviews even if I hadn't seen any particular anime you've reviewed yet.
This was once one of the most harmless glitches in the Pokémon series... :P

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Re: Zowayix's Procrastinated Anime Reviews
« Reply #4 on: December 23, 2014, 08:44:05 am »
Alrighty, this is going to most likely be the last anime review of the year. Tonight I am going to be reviewing an actual current anime, namely Sakura Trick. Didn't I say I was going to review things after watching them? Because I watched this, like, last month. s**t. Well anyway, having seen the trailer for this, there were two things which made me want to check it out:
1) It's made by Studio Deen, who have a reputation for fucking up things, so I was intrigued as to if they did this time.
2) Did that girl just kiss that other girl? Niiiiice.

So, eventually I ended up drinking 3 beers one night, and promptly went to search out the series. Perhaps it will subvert my expectations. Why did I write that in the future tense when I've already watched it? Who the f**k knows.

Right off the bat, however, it actually does subvert expectations. I actually thought this was a purely fanservice type of show with no actual content, but it's actually a romantic comedy. Why do I always end up watching those? Ah well, it's actually pretty decent. Whoops, that's the kind of thing I'm supposed to put at the end of the review. But yeah, it's a nice little comedy series, except it has lesbian schoolgirls. It's not a visual novel, so Studio Deen's reputation here is avoided, though it is adapted from a manga. That doesn't mean that it's immune to stupid facial expressions and other goofs like the other Deen animes I've watched, but this is a review, so I'll tell you whether or not it does, as well as things that aren't about the adaptation and are about the series itself. That is to say, it doesn't. The art is actually pretty well done. Not much to say about it, because... yeah. It's pretty good. One nitpick I will have about the art style though, not so much the way the characters are drawn, but whenever someone says anything, that character's hair accessory or whatever flashes up on screen for a bit. Hard to explain without actually showing you, and unfortunately for you readers, I can't be bothered finding a video showcasing it. Anyway, it's slightly jarring (if you notice it like I do), and I wonder what the point is. I don't really get it.

Speaking of characters, they are very well written. More expections are subvertated here, as pretty much nobody is a stereotype, unlike how you might expect this to be some cheap and sleazy funfest. But everyone has personality. Let's look at the protagonists, if I can remember their names: Haruka, Yuu, Yuzu (best girl), umm... Kaena or something like that, Shinjuku, Kotome... I was probably wrong about those last three. I'm not even going to bother remembering their last names. Alright, I'll stop being a smartarse and look them up. So, Haruka, being the main character, should be completely generic and devoid of any characterization, right? Well, no, she's a cheerful and romantic and slightly clingy person, but despite my attempted description sounding like one, isn't a moeblob. Also, she has a handkerchief tied in her hair. What the f**k is with that? It sort of bugs me. Sort of reminds me of that one in Kissxsis with the bandage she never removes, except not quite as annoying. Yuu, despite her relatively childish and naive nature, does actually have some smarts, sometimes more so than Haruka who is otherwise the sensible one. Yuzu and Kaede are what TVTropes might call "Those Two Guys", except they're not guys. Just to screw with the audience, they're not necessarily lesbians, either. Anyway, despite the trope, they provide most of the humour for the series, and Kaede in particular has some hidden depths to her character, in that she's the first one to figure out that [spoilers]Haruka and Yuu are in a relationship[/spoilers] and the reason for her pranks is to cover up that she's not very good with sad things or some s**t like that. You would think Kotone (for those of you reading this on Yammer, where I have taken all the swearing out, my avatar until I change it again for the 42nd time this month), being a blonde and older looking, is clearly evil, right? Yeah, you would think that. You fucker. But she's actually a nice person. You might think Shizuku is the shy type who never says anything. Well, she's not the most social of characters, but she does actually have emotions other than shyness. What does bug me though is the supporting characters, namely Yuu's sister Mizuki, who is a moeblob for no reason when she was introduced as a perfectly competent character, and reminiscent of the teacher from Kissxsis, thinks the main characters' relationships are any of her damn business.

So yeah, the series is basically your standard romantic comedy fare, except with lesbians. The jokes are funny, as they should be, and the writing in general doesn't treat the characters differently just because they happen to be homosexual, apart from the social issues that they sadly still face because of other characters being prejudiced, which is a topic which is approached surprisingly maturely. Is this not what true equality is all about? Probably. I'll leave that for people who know what they're on about more than I do to decide. As for the romance, the kissing is focused on quite a bit, and if you're not into that sort of thing, it might be a turn-off. It doesn't go further than that other than the occasional grope (if not for that, you could actually probably watch this with your kids[1]). Because I went into watching this as a yuri fan though, I can't tell you how it is from the perspective of someone who enjoys romantic comedy but of other genders/orientations. I guess one thing I will say is that I don't usually like romance at all and would prefer to watch people stab each other[2], but because of how pure the love here is, it leaves you with that wonderful happy feeling, where you don't necessarily fall in love with the characters, but you feel the love experienced by the characters, if that makes any sense. If someone is still sadly in 2014 of the opinion that homosexual relationships are wrong, this anime might just convince them otherwise. I almost wished that everyone in real life was lesbian after watching this. Even myself. I dunno, I guess it would be kinda neat. I'm talking s**t again, aren't I? Anyway, you get the idea. It's nice.

So, the soundtrack. It's not by Kenji Kawai. I just thought I'd get that out there to crush everyone's hopes and dreams who were thinking Studio Deen would use him again. Instead, this is by someone named Ryosuke Nakanishi, who has composed for High School DxD, the Walkure Romanze anime adaptation, more recently "Recently My Sister is Unusual", and some arrangement work for the Hidamari Sketch OP theme. I just went to VGMDB to find all that out, because I've never heard of him. Anyway, it's okay. It's not that great and I don't really know of any standout tracks, but it does the job, and contains some more dramatic stuff in the scenes where it's appropriate so it's not all just boring guitars and pianos that most comedy anime seem to have.

The opening theme, on the other hand, is one of the most kawaii desu[3] themes I've heard. Even if the title of "Won(*3*)Chu KissMe!" is the stupidest sounding thing ever, it's a nice dance-pop tune by the main cast's voice actresses and it WILL get stuck in your head. Okay, I won't be arrogant and declare that you absolutely must like it, it might not. Still though, it's very cute, and I recommend you blast it in your car while cruisin' round in da hood to show people how gangsta you are[4]. Despite the cuteness and catchiness I have managed to listen to this 52 times over the last month (when I downloaded it), so quite evidently didn't get sick of it. I'm not much of a music reviewer[6] so there's not much else I can say.

Overall, this was a good anime, and it turns out I enjoy it while sober as well. It is only 12 episodes though, and the ending is one of those that gives them the option to have a season 2. The manga is still ongoing, so that's probably why there isn't one yet, but I'm thinking there will be when it's time. Hopefully.

Final score: Lesbians / 10

[1] The editors of this review would like to remind you that the author of this review has not interacted with any children ever since he was one which was over a decade ago (at which point he still didn't know what was appropriate for children, one might say), and as such does not actually have any fucking clue what is appropriate for children.
[2] Despite what I almost thought in the "test of courage" scene in episode 8B, the series does not at any point devolve into that, like other Studio Deen adaptations.
[3] I was using the word ironically please don't slap me
[4] The editors and authors of this review [5] do not accept any responsibility for any shootings or stabbings that may or may not occur if you actually do this. I don't even know where "da hood" in Canberra actually is. Calwell because of the high school? s**t, I used to live there. Guess I actually am gangsta.
[5] They're the same person, you dingbat. Who are you calling a dingbat, anyway? Stop talking to yourself!
[6] Some would argue I'm not much of an anime reviewer either, but the point is that I don't have any words to wank about with on music like I do with anime.

Obligatory me being a dickhead on FB
« Last Edit: March 31, 2015, 06:55:41 am by Zowayix »


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Zowayix

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Re: Zowayix's Procrastinated Anime Reviews
« Reply #5 on: December 31, 2014, 02:41:02 am »
Hey, remember how I said in the last one that it was my last review of the year? Because, potentially, I lied. This is going to be my last review of the year, unless it takes me 7 hours to write it. And I actually don't know if it will, because I'm.... ACTUALLY REVIEWING IT AT THE SAME TIME I WATCH IT!! Also, I went through a whole bunch of words without revealing that the 'it' is Perfect Blue, which is a bit different than the normal review subjects, as it's a movie and not a series. It's still an anime, though. You know, because this is the anime reviews thread. I'm not that stupid.

So, to start things off, the DVD box tells me two things:
1) High level violence and adult themes, f**k yeah. Okay, so speaking sensibly, that doesn't make it automatically good. But I have to be easily amused by something, right?
2) The back blurb says something about a J-pop singer who becomes an actress and has to start off in "perverse low-budget films" (I totally don't know what they mean by that) and there's stalking and murders and other cool things. And apparently it's been compared to David Lynch and other filmmakers of that nature.

The menu music is cool already, nice creepy vibe to it with the ominous female choirs. I'm not here to sit here and listen to it, though, so I guess I'd better press the play button. No, not bonus features. Bad Andrew. You don't get to watch those until you're done with the actual movie. Okay, fine, you can set the language to English. Interestingly enough, the Japanese audio is in 5.1 as well, usually it's only 2.0 where the English audio is 5.1. I suppose it makes sense because it's a movie, which would be in, you know, theatres, as opposed to televisions which is restricted to 2.0.

Anyway, we start off to the usual thing you get in the first few scenes of a thriller-type movie: A bunch of jerks fucking around with no relevance to anything, under the guise of introducing you to the setting, or whatever. It's not that bad here, it only lasts about 8 minutes  (as opposed to like 20 or 30 or even two thirds of the entire film as I've previously experienced) and you do get to know who this Mima person is. The animation's kind of weird in a couple places, in that people's eyes are drawn waaaaay too far apart or have stupid facial expressions (may be a stylistic decision), but then again this was made in..... 1997[1]? s**t. I had to temporarily switch the language over to Japanese in the part where she performs some stupid song just to see if it sounds that dumb originally. It does. Oh well, this isn't actually about that. That voice... izzat the same one who did Lain's voice in the dub of SEL? I'll check that later[2]. So there's some guy who looks even uglier than the other background characters, and it cuts to him frequently. Maybe he's the stalker.

Okay, so now Mima's getting weird letters and obscurely threatening phone calls and faxes. Now we can start watching for real! And the dialogue "That's just from the internet" "Oh, that's really popular lately" just happened. Yep. This is old. "It's kind of like networking by using a computer" STAHP MY FUCKING SIDES CAN'T TAKE THIS anyway, this is the point where I stop doing a commentary of everything that happens, because then I'd just be spoiling it because actual plot happens now. I am going to make fun of the Apple product placement, though. Heh heh heh. Mac OS Classic. Alright, less typey more watchy.

Back to the review: It's about 48 minutes in, and now the plot is plotting away like the plot it's supposed to. That's not to say that it's been completely boring up until now, it actually does a good job of starting off the rest of the movie. And it provides an interesting insight into the world of acting, though I'm sure actual actors who watch this might nitpick it to death. Have you ever wondered what it's like filming a rape scene? Well, now you know. And yes, there has been quite a bit of nudity so far, despite the box not saying that. But really, if you're thinking this is something to masturbate to, you watched the wrong movie. Other than that, this is one of those "What the f**k is going on" type things, except it's the good kind where it invites you to figure out what's going on, rather than the masturbatory kind where the director masturbates all over the script and goes "Hahahaha if you don't like this it's because you don't understand it and not because I suck". So instead, you have fun trying to work it out, and enjoy the unsettling themes along the way.

I won't spoil the ending for you but I think I'm allowed to tell you that it does actually end things instead of being a load of bullshit like some others are. But it still leaves things open to interpretation, in the case that you still want to claim it's a metaphor for who fucking knows what. One thing that is definitely left unanswered, though, is the title. Is it perfect? Well, that's subjective really. Is it... blue? No. I don't get where the blue comes from. Probably some metaphorical bullshit. Overall, this is a very interesting movie, and it is recommended that you see this if you like psychological horror/thriller or just want an example of how a mind screw type of anime can actually work without being a wankfest.

As for what I always like to review in all of my reviews regardless of whether or not anyone cares: The soundtrack here is pretty good, it doesn't seem like there's that much of it the first time you watch, but it's there. The main menu theme I mentioned earlier is Virtua Mima (Voice Version), the rest is mostly either variants of other themes, character leitmotifs, or the crappy in-universe pop group I mentioned earlier. There is a CD release, and it's not one of those "only bundled with some obscure bullshit edition that you'll never can has" or one of those "costs 50 dollars, and that's if it's 'acceptable' condition" things, you can go to eBay/Amazon Japan or what have you and buy it there (it's still a niche market so no mainstream CD stores), so if you like dark ambient/film soundtracks, why not? There's not really any spoilers in the track titles.

Final score: WHO WAS PHONE / 10

No, I'm not going to one day give an actual numerical score. Now I can get to those bonus features. So we have: A lecture where the director talks about what happens in the movie, some interviews with the characters[3] and also the director, and... CHAM? Who the f**k is CHAM and why are they upperca- oh, okay, they're the group Mima was in that I keep making fun of. Well, the former can be interesting, I only watched a bit of it because it's 41 minutes long and ain't nobody got time fo dat but it gives you an insight as to what actually happened, how the movie was adapted from some book, and that sort of thing.

[1] Okay, 1998. But it won some Best Asian Film award. In 1997. OH s**t TIME TRAVEL UP IN THIS b***h
[2] Yep, looked it up and it's Bridget Hoffman although using the alias of Ruby Marlowe. I fukken knew it.
[3] The menu lies, it's actually a dubbed voice actor and an original Japanese seiyuu.

Well, I had to yell at this at least once. It's what I do.
« Last Edit: March 31, 2015, 06:17:35 am by Zowayix »


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Zowayix

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Re: Zowayix's Procrastinated Anime Reviews
« Reply #6 on: January 15, 2015, 05:47:56 am »
I don't know how to write opening sentences. So yeah, I'm going to review Angel Beats. From what I can gather, this is one of those right-in-the-feels anime, so I bought a whole bunch of tissues (if anyone asks young adult males have plausible deniability). I could be wrong and thinking of something else, though, as is sometimes the case. Speaking of case, let's see what the back of the case says[1]. The protagonist died. Spoilers already? Well f**k you, case. And the rest of the description makes it sound more like an action shōnen series. With black comedy. So I could have been wrong. I guess I'll find out.

There's no special features on this DVD (unless they're on the second disc), though the setup does specifically have a subtitle option for only translating the signs and writing, which makes sense if you watch dubs like me. I suppose that should really be a given, but I remember watching something else that had either subtitles for dialogue and everything (which are differently translated from the dubbing) or no subtitles at all, so I was like "well f**k you then". But yeah, they've done well here.

On to the actual watching part: We are immediately treated to a nice opening theme named "My Soul, Your Beats" by Lia, which I recognise from one of her remix albums and it's kinda cool to hear the original for once. It's not as good as the piano and violin version (or ピアノ×バイオリン生演奏Remix, if you will) on enigmatic LIA 4, but that's only because that rearrangement is really good, and not because this is bad, because it isn't. So apparently, this is actually about some afterlife group that rebels against God, or something. Sounds cool. The soundtrack is cool already, but I'll get to that afterwards as I always do. Also, what the s**t is happening? I guess this is the kind of black comedy advertised. It sort of throws you right into the action, which I guess is nice, though I'd like to know who this guy is. Hey, the box says M for infrequent coarse language mate. You don't have to cut yourself off saying f**k.

So I just finished episode 1, and I still don't know what's happening. So you're rebelling against God, and then you claim there isn't one, but then you claim that you... believe in him? There was also the good old "lyrics that are blatantly about the series" insert song for some reason which was at least subtitled well by having both the original and translated lyrics on screen. I don't know what any of the motivations of these characters are or what is the actual situation that the protagonist has been placed in, other than everyone's dead (sort of). Perhaps that's the point. It's interesting enough to keep me watching, anyway, because of the aforementioned action and black comedy. I thought I recognised these dubbed voice actors from somewhere else, but as it turns out I don't.

That's the first impressions. Now that I've come back to finishing this review (which probably feels really weird to people reading it, and perhaps this format of starting the review before watching and finishing the review afterwards doesn't actually work, and I welcome any feedback as to which format sucks more), it's time for the final impressions. So, in a lot of ways, this is a fantastic anime.

Basically, this is like a slice-of-life anime if slice-of-life wasn't necessarily a subgenre of comedy. If that makes sense. It gets asked the question "Are you a light-hearted series, or are you serious?" and replies with the taco answer of "Why not both?". And it manages to pull off both quite well without being terribly jarring, even when the same situation that keeps you on your seat just an episode ago is now used purely for laughs. Oh, and there's the feels. It's not the entire focus, and it's not as heavy-hitting as it could be, but they happen. No matter what your preference for anime is, there's going to be something here for you to enjoy[2]. The characters are pretty cool. You got the main character who ends up not being generic and having a backstory, some grill who acts like Haruhi but not a complete dick[3], and then there's Angel. I won't spoil of course whether or not she's the antagonist or not (this is the kind of series which likes to be deliberately ambiguous initially, but it does tell you by the end), but she's pretty cute. And has cool superpowers. She would be my waifu if I didn't already have one, and if the premise of the series didn't involve her being technically dead or (depending on how you interpret everything, ending and all) at least in an alternate universe. The animation is drawn pretty well (the box says it's by the people who did Fullmetal Alchemist, or something), the dubbing is... well, I guess it's more of mixed, actually. Otonashi (the main character guy)'s voice is pretty good, it's like an exact mix between Light Yagami and Lelouch Lamperouge's respective dubbed voices. Angel's voice is soft and sweet and calming. Many other characters... sometimes not so much, in that they sound like stereotypical Californians. What am I watching here, Haganai? It's never to the point of making me want to switch to Japanese audio with subs, though. And it's an anime, you don't have to say "upperclassman". It's perfectly acceptable to say "senpai". The subtitles on the opening theme are on this DVD one of those ones where they'll show the Japanese lyrics one episode and the translated English version the next, with no rhyme or reason. But the soundtrack, though. I'm going to have to make a new paragraph for this.

Because it's fucking good. Let's start with that opening theme, shall I? I've already said that I like it up in that third paragraph, but it really is fantastic. Actually, it's basically as good as the remix I mentioned there, except it has a bit more instruments and percussion. It's interesting how much of a difference the latter makes, in that this has an "opening" feel to it, and gets you pumped for watching the show while still being melancholic. And of course Lia's voice is great as always. For the score, this is like Future Diary in that if I mentioned everything I like from it, I'll have posted the whole thing, so I won't do that (also, I just finished watching it so I don't know the song titles yet). I will talk about it in a general sense, namely that it combines various genres instead of just going with the generic orchestral stuff you see in Western shows/movies these days and some anime (which I'm not saying sucks, but a lot of it does sound the same). It's composed by some mysterious entity named ANANT-GARDE EYES [sic], who seem to mostly have just been created for the sole purpose of this anime, but they've also worked with Lia for some other anime openings/endings she's sung, and something called "Mekakucity Actors". As for insert songs, they're in there, they're alright I guess. Not too shabby, but also not too memorable. Ending theme I'm not so sure about. Perhaps it's because the DVD annoyed me by playing it twice (over the original credits, then the next episode preview, then over the dub credits), perhaps it's because I don't really care for acoustic songs that much. For those of you that do, it's... probably good? I wouldn't know. But I do recommend you seek out the soundtrack any way you can. I think it's out of print (CDJapan don't have it), sadly, but you might be able to find it used. If you're having trouble finding it, it's a black cover art with a piano and red text.

So, am I going to call this my favourite anime of all time? I was going to. It's close. There's just.... only one thing. It's only 13 episodes (not counting the 14th bonus pure comic relief episode). It is, one might say, rushed. A lot of characters obviously were meant to have backstories that were expanded on, but they just sort of skipped over them. I thought it was because of adaptation issues, but I was surprised to learn later that it's actually original and not a visual novel originally[4]. Also, the ending is... well... I suppose I should have expected an ending of that nature[5], but it's just like "Awwwww, come on man" when you finally get to it. At least it's not like other series where a whole bunch of episodes constitute the crappy ending, it's just the last minute or two that sucks. I suppose some people might be into that sort of thing and it might be just me. But f**k it, you know? I might still be on my journey to find the perfect anime, but this is a pretty good pit stop.

Final score: I don't have any funny ratings to give this one so I'll just write this overly long sentence instead / 10

[[6]1] Do I get cool points for that segue? Because that was the coolest segue I have ever written.
[2] Okay, so not if you exclusively enjoy hentai and refuse to like anything else ever. There's a shirtless dude in a few scenes, and that's pretty much it.
[3] Alright, not as much of a dick. Yuri's cool though. Also, her name is lesbians.
[4] No seriously, what? I went this whole fucking time thinking that Key wrote a visual novel several years before this and it was then adapted. I was watching the whole fucking thing thinking "Well maybe that made sense in the original" or "That joke might have worked better in a game format" and on the flipside "How did they manage to portray that in a visual novel format?" and when I looked for the soundtracks I almost got confused because I thought I might be accidentally looking at the visual novel's soundtrack and it turns out this whole fucking time there was none and they just got the guys from Key to make an anime.
[5] Actually, it has one of those after-the-credits things that are left ambiguous enough so sappy losers like myself can interpret as a happy ending again. It still leaves me feeling down though.
[6] Why do square brackets denote footnotes, anyway? It doesn't really bug me as such, it's just kinda weird. It's one of those things you don't question until you question it. Though there's probably a good and well defined reason, I'm stupid so I dunno.

You thought I wouldn't actually Facebook stalk myself to get the unnecessary reactions like I said I would in the Nichijou review later? You thought wrong. Here's my ramblings for this series:
« Last Edit: March 29, 2015, 10:33:05 pm by Zowayix »


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Re: Zowayix's Procrastinated Anime Reviews
« Reply #7 on: February 14, 2015, 11:23:43 am »
But anyways, let's get to the point and enjoy this awkwardly written review about possibly awkwardly written and maybe not anime. The first anime that will be reviewed here today, after many[1] beers on a Friday evening that one time (a few weeks ago actually so this review is partly from memory but I will watch it again for a bit as to not talk completely out of my ass), is KissXsis. Or Kissxsis. Kiss x sis. However the f**k you're supposed to format the title. This has been called 'the most fucked up anime ever' by some kid on YouTube who made a list of said categorisation. Of course I felt the need to investigate.

A romantic comedy with some ecchi is far from fitting such category.

It's Kiss×sis, by the way (× is the multiplication sign, not a regular X). But that's really not that important.

Zowayix

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Re: Zowayix's Procrastinated Anime Reviews
« Reply #8 on: February 26, 2015, 04:11:01 am »
So, today... s**t, it's night time. Okay, start again. Tonight we will be reviewing a slice of life series by the name of Nichijou. The DVD calls it "Nichijou: My Everyday Life", but that's stupid, because "nichijou" is literally Japanese for "everyday life". This is one of those comedies where clips of it show up everywhere on YouTube, so eventually after watching about 5 of them I figured I should watch the whole thing. Which I will do. And then review it when done. What the f**k else would I put in my own anime review thread? Beer recommendations? Because I'm having some Asahi right now to go with this[3]. I figure if I'm going to get drunk and watch anime I might as well get drunk off things from Japan.

The DVD case claims that only the main characters are actually ordinary, and that even then they're kind of weird too. I don't know why you would admit to false advertising right there, but eh. At least they're being honest about it, rather than for example Perfect Blue which is neither perfect nor blue[1]. The special features are quite plentiful, you get a whole bunch of trailers (K-On!, Cardcaptor Sakura, Squid Girl, and some others I don't recognise), I think there was some commentary there, and textless opening/closing themes. I won't be getting into those because I just rip DVDs and watch them via Kodi nowdays[2]. Anyway, yeah. That's the intro/nitpicking, now on with the watching, and then the rest of the review. Maybe.

So, now I've watched it all, and have finally remembered to review it. Whoops, have I reverted to my old ways of forgetting to review s**t after watching it until like 3 months later? Well, this was only 3 days ago[5], so it's not too bad. Anyway, yes. The anime. That I have watched. I will say things about it. And to make it up to you, I'll actually have some headings. I've been neglecting to use them in previous reviews, because I can't afford the heading tax, but I'll do it anyway from now on. For you people[6]. Oh, and I also watched the OVA in the middle of writing this, but that wasn't on the DVD, so.... ssh[7].

Plot/writing
No plot for you. This is a straight up comedy series. Perhaps you didn't understand when I told you the title means "My Ordinary Life". Not "My Slightly Romantic Life", not "My Unexpectedly Grimdark Life", not "My Socially Taboo But Actually Acceptable Sex Life", not "My Meeting Some Girl Who is Actually a Robot Or An Alien Or Something Life". None of that. Just slapsticky comedy. So yes, this is a show you can actually have a laugh at. Some of the jokes are just kinda weird though, I watch them and I get the feeling that I have to be Japanese for them to make sense. So a question that you might ask is "Is this show accessible to people who have never watched anime in their life?", and an answer I might give in response to that question might be "Nah. Not really. A lot of it is playing with existing anime tropes, so you might not get them, but it's not so bad and some of the jokes translate to any culture, so I dunno, and I shouldn't have really attempted to answer this question".
Luckily, the show does not tend to insult your intelligence by reducing jokes to "HEY GUYS YOU KNOW THIS OTHER ANIME THAT ISN'T THE ONE YOU'RE WATCHING HAHA AM I RIGHT GUYS". Unlike a certain other KyoAni series. And even if you don't like a joke, they generally don't go on for longer than a minute, so you can just wait for the next part instead. This has the disadvantage of episode titles being completely garbage among the lines of "My Ordinary Life Part 52434534 / My Ordinary Life Part 65365364534 / Mio Stabs Misato In The Face / My Ordinary Life Part 3.14159"[9], which only matters if you're a fucking nutjob like I am with HTPCs and media organization.

Actually, I lied, there's some sincere plot moments at the end. You might experience dem feels, personally I don't think it was that tissues-worthy, and considering the rest of how the rest of the show is, it felt kind of awkward, like there was a joke I was supposed to understand that I didn't.

Characters
For the most part, likeable. Yūko, aside from her weird-to-Romanize name (Yuuko? Yukko? Fuckyou?), is who I assume is supposed to be the protagonist, and is the best girl. Kind of like Bart Simpson, I guess, but female. Kind of. Not really. I'd actually feel comfortable saying she might have legitimate ADHD at times, saying that as an ADHDspie[8] myself, and sometimes as a result I feel bad for her when the show wants me to laugh at her instead. Whoops, that's not a good thing. You also have Mio, who normally doesn't have any defining characteristic at all, other than being a manga writer. It's when she gets pissed off/embarrassed[9] that she actually does something interesting, but eh. Someone has to be the straight man[10] for Yūko's character. So you also have Mai, who is le epic trole XDDDD and winner of the Homura Lookalike Contest of 2011, and Nano, who is basically a loose cannon robot who lives on the edge and doesn't play by Asimov's rules. And a whole cast of minor characters who only exist for specific jokes, like that one dude with an afro, or that girl who goes "EEEEHHHHHHH?????"[11], or that teacher with social anxiety who I also feel bad for when I'm not supposed to.

Not all of them are that great though, for example you have the obligatory 8-year-old Hakase, who I personally think is just an annoying little s**t. Probably just thrown in there so moeblob plebians have something to pretend they don't have s**t taste over. And Misato, who is just a tsundere. That's it. No funny subversions, no interesting variations, no playing with no tropes anywhere. Tsunderes weren't funny in 1995 and they're still not funny now. Okay, so she has guns and explosives. That's still not funny or clever. What are you, Michael Bay? Get the f**k out of anime. I mean, I guess I should be flattered that a shitty talentless famous director is reading my reviews, but since he's so shitty and talentless, I'll have to take a shower just because I'm associated with him. Hypothetically. I think that's what I was doing.

Can you watch it with your kids?

I would say yes, the OFLC says no, and that it has sexual references so it's M. I say the OFLC are full of s**t. Unless I'm just inattentive (which I am), I didn't see anything in there that kids should either stay away from or need an adult to talk them through it. Sure, they might not understand some jokes, but adults won't either.

Animation quality, etc
Well, it's Kyoto Animation, so yeah, it's gonna be good. Except for Mai's glasses. The whole show is obviously CGI, and like every other anime in existence where someone wears glasses, the glasses clip through her face. Does this not piss anyone else off? Please tell me it does. It bugs the shitting tits out of me. Every time I see them I just want to take them off her and reseat them properly in such a way that obeys the traditional laws of physics. Anyway, the over-the-top animations are definitely impressive, and are a huge part of why this anime is great. I sometimes can't believe this was a manga originally. I can't imagine half these jokes actually working without the exaggerated reactions.

Another tidbit about the animation is that this is a great source of your daily intake of vitamin reaction faces. Whatever media player you use to watch this, do yourself a favour and figure out what the shortcut for screenshots is[12], and you'll probably end up with 500 different pics by the end. If you felt so inclined, you could delete your entire existing reaction image folder and just use everything from this anime instead.

This would also be where I would talk about the dub, except there isn't one. Apparently, the DVDs didn't sell well. Apparently, they were like $100 for 2 episodes in Japan[13]. Apparently, this is a coincidence. Apparently, as a result, my correspondents across the pond inform me that you can't even buy it there. Australia: f**k yeah.

Soundtrack yo dawg
The overall score is, in addition to the animation quality, apparently made by people who are having way too much fun at their job[14] and why this anime works. I just had to look up the composer after watching like 2 episodes because they're apparently brilliant. It turns out to be none other than Yūji Nomi, who in a Zowayix's Procrastinated Anime Reviews first, I have actually heard of. He[15] has previously composed Bokurano, which while watching[16] I did think that it was great, except it should have a real orchestra to reach its full potential, or some s**t. Well, here you go. Yūji Nomi gets to have a real orchestra to play with. Not quite the same as Bokurano, as it is mostly a _very_ different style. The majority of the tracks are whimsical not-quite-upbeat-but-not-quite-dark-and-brooding melodies which I lack the ability to describe without sounding like a complete ponce, so I'll just link to Kakenukeru Netsujō instead to preserve what little dignity I have. You also have tracks like Fei Ōkoku ~Tatakai~[17] that sound like something out of a completely serious action show, that serve the purpose of specific jokes that rely on the soundtrack sounding like something out of a completely serious action show. Like I said, I don't know how they would have possibly worked in the manga version, unless they never were in the manga to begin with. But yeah, that track's pretty great. However, the distributor for this series happens to be my faaaaaaaavourite company of all time: Kadokawa Anime, who also screwed over Future Diary soundtrack fans, and do the same thing here by only bundling the soundtrack in 13 different volumes with each DVD/BD release. So yeah. I'd like to have paid money for it, but no.

So you also have the opening and ending themes for me to pretend people care about, of course. The first one is Hyadain no Kakakata *[18] Kataomoi-C[19], which happens to have its own unrelated music video, but from what I can gather it was created before this anime (seeing as how the lyrics have absolutely nothing to do with Nichijou) and Hyadain is just some dude whose song they used. It's pretty cool, it has that "energetic in-your-face" vibe to it (like The Simpsons theme) that once again I can't describe without sounding like a wanker, so just listen to it already. Well, maybe I shouldn't tell you to do that. Its catchiness is considered a chemical earworm and is banned by several wartime conventions, and has to be locked up in one of them big ol' safes. You get the idea. It's catchy. Interestingly enough, the female voice is actually Hyadain himself, who I can't remember if he's either using a voice modifier or is simply one talented motherfucker (which personally, I think he is either way). The first ending theme is "Zzz" by some chick I can't remember the name of, it's alright I suppose. I don't want to make fun of it because of how damned happy Yūko looks. Just goddamn look that s**t up. I can't corrupt that. It also has a music video, and also is probably made before the show.

Like all the cool animes do these days, the opening changes halfway through to Hyadain's JiyjhoyohjjhojyohfuckingIdunno, which obviously is made by Hyadain as well. Same sort of thing as the first opening theme, just a bit more electronic, but for some reason it doesn't have quite the same charm as said first one did. At least the lyrics could actually be related to Nichijou, but once again I don't think they really are. It works best accompanied with the visuals (the anime, not the music video), what with all the dancing that they should have included as looping GIFs on the DVD or something. The ending themes are a whole bunch of various things from that point on, I didn't bother listening to those. What, you want me to review each and every single piece of music that is ever composed for every anime I watch? Ain't nobody got time fo' dat.

This isn't really a heading but it visually separates the preceding stuff

Overall, this is a bit like other slice of life Kyoto animes like Lucky Star, except with the important difference that unlike Lucky Star, it's actually funny. You know what? I'm using that as the review score. I may or may not have contrivinated that comparison in order to do that.

Final score: Like Lucky Star but actually funny / 10

Also, in a tribute to this anime's brilliant over-the-top reactions, I'm going to share something a little special with you all: My own over-the-top reactions that I spam all over Facebook while watching anime. Rather than just annoy what little friends I have left, I've decided to annoy GCLF members as well, and also Yammer users who will fill my notifications feed with "Some fuckface from the other side of Australia viewed an image in the Anime & Manga group" (and also their followers' feeds, so free marketing for me, not that it actually matters how much members I have). I'm also going to add these retroactively to my earlier reviews, too (once I get around to it). Names have been censored to protect the innocent, though off-the-record, our very own Twenty-Seven is the blue guy, and I didn't tell you that. Enjoy!

Imgur gallery because I think people would yell at me if I just spammed all the images inline

[1] I think I made that joke already back when I reviewed it. s**t.
[2] I lied. I went back to rip the OPs and EDs, because I liked them, but we'll get to that later. I mean, I'll get to that later. Dunno why I said we. And if you're reading this review line by line, you'll have read where I get to talking about those before you read this footnote.
[3] As it turns out later on (hence why this is footnote 3 when it is chronologically first), Kirin[4] is actually the best beer.
[4] No Oreimo jokes, please. I'd be morally obliged to watch it, and given what I've heard of it, I'd rather not. Though I am slightly tempted to make a bad photoshoop of the bottle that says "Kirino" in place of "Kirin" and "s**t Taste" instead of "Good Taste" or something similar.
[5] At the time of writing that sentence, anyway. Now it's like 8 days. 9? Fucking shitfucks.
[6] If you're not a people and are a cat or something, f**k off.
[7] Not secure shell, smartarse.
[8] You come up with a better word we can use for ourselves, then. A non-offensive one, preferably.
[9] That was just me being silly, it only goes up to about 100ish and Mio never stabs anyone in the face.
[9] Embarrassed is also the word I use to describe myself when I realise I can't spell embarrassed without rewriting it 5 times over. Fucking double letters, man. Like I'm not even a bad speller or anything. Still doesn't look right but I don't see any red line underneath it. But then again, I... do see a red line under "doesn't"? Whaaa?
[10] Yeah, I know, straight woman. She might not be straight, for all I know. Mio x Yūko OTP
[11] That sounds annoying when I type it, but she's actually one of my favourite characters. Maybe that's not how you're supposed to Romanize the Japanese version of "Huuuuhhhh???"
[12] It's Ctrl + S in Kodi, by the way. Because that's totally intuitive, like how I'm saving the video file.
[13] I'll never complain about having to pay $50 for a complete series again. Maybe. I will if it sucks.
[14] If you're my employer and you're reading this, I don't want you to feel bad, I'm having too much fun at my job too. Also, hi.
[15] Well I mean I think they're a he based on what I have read, just seems weird because Yūji Kajiura isn't, and so the name is confusing.
[16] That wasn't intended to be alliterative and now it looks stupid f**k
[17] That translates to Fei Kingdom ~Fight~. You learned something today, kids! Yay!
[18] I'm not typing in the star thing, f**k you. I refuse even further to copy paste it from elsewhere because that's just plebbery.
[19] Apparently (aka: I'm probably wrong) this translates to "Hyadain's U-u-un-unrequited Love" or something.
« Last Edit: March 24, 2015, 03:42:10 pm by Zowayix »


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Zowayix

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Re: Zowayix's Procrastinated Anime Reviews
« Reply #9 on: April 08, 2015, 06:04:02 am »
So tonight we are going to be watching a movie by the name of 'Gyo', or 'Gyo: Tokyo Fish Attack' which is what Kodi made me rename it to in order to get it to scan properly. I discovered this by actually watching the trailers they put on anime DVDs, found it on BluRay for around the same price as an anime movie normally would be on DVD[1]. So perhaps this is going to be some low budget style horror but animated. All I can gather from the trailer is that it's gory, and... fish? Well, nobody cares about this part, so let's stop fucking around and watch this already.

Plot
Pretty standard for a horror movie. Too standard, actually. Around half-way through, the movie forgets that its subtitle is Tokyo Fish Attack, and just turns into what can best be described as a zombie movie. Apparently this was adapted from a manga by that Junji Ito guy, and apparently from what I've read the plot there is a lot different, so if you read the manga then this will probably just piss you off. Anyway, the whole thing just felt mindless for lack of a better word. There's some plot elements thrown in there, but they just feel like the writer/director/whoever didn't really know where they were going with them, and they aren't expanded on as a result. The ending just feels tacked on as well, as though someone was at the studio saying "We don't have the hard drive space to make something longer than 70 minutes! Just wrap it up here!", and I had to look up immediately after watching if it was part of a series as some OVAs are. It's not, by the way.[2]

Characters
This gets a bonus point or two, because instead of every single protagonist being an unlikeable dickhead like in every single American horror movie, only about one or two of them are. That's not to say the others are really interesting or developed or whatever, just that they're not dickheads, and the bar has been set horribly low. Oh well. So there's nothing much to write about here. Not even not much, nothing at all. Except for this part here where I pad it out with me explaining that I am padding out this part with the explanation that I am padding this out wi[3]*stabbed*

I'm only putting this "safe for kids" part here to form a habit for other reviews where it's an actual question
But here somehow I don't think a blood-and-guts film with a sex scene or two and frequent fucking coarse language[4] is really good for your kids. Some might be all like "But is it safe for aduuuullllltsss woooooo spoooooky", which is a more valid line of questioning, and which I'd say yes you can, it's not scary at all. Just gory, and sometimes gross[5]. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE.

Animatino qualitino[6]
On one hand, everything except people's faces is smooth and qualiticilous, and... good. You know what I mean. On the other hand, everything except everything except people's faces, or rather, people's faces, looks like they fell out of an ugly tree. And then became ugly. Because they look ugly. My spidey senses tell me that 'muh artistic license' is the excuse for this, because ufotable (which have animated Fate/Zero and that sort of thing, which I haven't seen but looks nice) have no reason to be doing this otherwise.

Dub (or lack thereof), or in this case sub
There is no dub, so never mind that for now. The dialogue in the subtitles felt a bit awkward at times. Given that they hardly even bothered with only a small portion of the credits, I have an impression that Aniplex didn't really care about this one.

Soundtrack
No soundtrack for you!
Well I mean there is music in the movie, but there's no actual CD or digital release or anything like that. So all I can tell you is that it was a generic but decent horror score by Go Shiina, who is normally a video game composer for some vidya james like Mr Driller or God Eater, whatever those are. Here's a fun[7] fact: Go's real name is actually Masaru, but he calls himself Go because it's easier to pronounce for non-Japanese speakers, even though you can't tell whether Go is pronounced like the English word "go" or with a hard "o" sound which sounds awkward when unterminated, when Masaru is unambiguously pronounced as "Masaru".

Overall
Not gonna lie, this was actually s**t. I may be an edgy 12 year old at heart and get drawn in by mindless violence, but that doesn't mean I'll automatically like it in the end, and I often don't. This is no different, and I would recommend not bothering to watch this, unless you're a bad horror movie fan, and you find yourself able to laugh at how bad it is. I laughed at quite a few things that I'm sure were supposed to be scary, I'm sure some people would laugh at the whole thing. I mean, fish tho? Fish? Scary?

Final score: <"^></10

Well that was... short. There really isn't anything else to say, and I mean really as in really. It's just that bland.

Alright fine, here's me talking to myself on the Facebooks.








[1] About $23, if you must know.
[2] Which in a way is just as well, because then I would have to put this review on hold until I finish watching the hypothetical second part.
[3] Reference to Just Stupid! intentional, or whichever Andy Griffiths book it was where he wrote something like that at the front.
[4] Is it just me or am I swearing less in my recent reviews compared to my older ones? Well to get it out of my system: f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k.
[5] As in fart gases coming out of deformed bodies kind of gross.
[6] Mamma mia, that'sa racisto!
[7] Disclaimer: Fact may not actually be fun.


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Zowayix

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Re: Zowayix's Procrastinated Anime Reviews
« Reply #10 on: August 30, 2015, 06:44:49 am »
Cough cough tumbleweed blows dust off this thread and that sort of thing that alludes to the fact that I've neglected to write a review in a while. Anyway, today the anime of reviewing is known by the name of Gantz, which I said I was going to review like 4 reviews ago or however long it's been since I reviewed Future Diary and said I was going to review Gantz. Apparently, it's about some guy who dies, and then he doesn't, and then s**t gets freaky. And R rated, which doesn't automatically make it cool, but naturally doesn't exclude it from being good either. Anyway, I have to watch it to find out whether it's cool or not, so without further adios, let's do that.

...Said Zowayix, after... according to when I started watching this on MyAnimeList... 3 months and 20 days. So, I fucked up there. Well, the black dog is a b***h. Perhaps literally. But I'm here now, so on with the writing. Maybe with more swearing this time? f**k yeah! Let's do that s**t.

The all-encompassing header where I write things about the whole thing and don't go in other headers
After watching it[1], I still don't know what the f**k Gantz is actually about, genre-wise. I mean, I guess it's... shonen? I mean, you got the fuckin' fight scenes and all that s**t, so I mean it's not like pure psychological horror sort of thing, which otherwise it would be because of all the weird s**t. I would say the best compromise to put it under would be that "survival game" genre which is apparently a distinct genre now that Future Diary and others don't count as being the genres they would be if they weren't survival games. You know, those ones where there's a bunch of people and the main character and they all have to do some arbitrary task where they might could die and then it's about who doesn't die.

I mean, you get the idea. It's kind of a bit weird. Not in a sort of avant-garde way, or the 2deep4u way like one of those 'hurr you don't even know what this anime is even about because it's like a metaphor man and it's like so meaningful man because like you can't understand it, maaaaan' ones like Evangelion[2] or Serial Experiments Lain[3], just that... you know what? f**k it, I'm going to cheat. Wikipedia says it's action, science fiction, horror, and thriller. That'll do. But I mean, you got like fuckin' robot dudes with fucking chickens on their heads that scream at you and your ears explode, and giant Buddhas that shoot laser beams and turn into penis aliens, and then you gotta go to Wikipedia later anyway because somehow they know what's going the f**k on and you don't. It doesn't explain jack s**t, and you're probably not supposed to think about the plot too much anyway, because it'd be full of plot holes and "because magic" if you applied thorough analysis to it.

Most of the characters here are complete dickheads, and in a general sense, that's sort of fine, because it's not the kind of genre where you want everyone to be your waifu. You don't necessarily have to connect with the characters. But it sometimes does go too far in that you find yourself yelling at your TV "JUST FUCKING {DO OBVIOUS THING} YOU FUCKING DIPSHIT I FUCKING HATE YOU I HOPE YOU DIE YOU FUCKING PIECE OF s**t!!!!!!!" and that sort of detracts from the experience, no? Whatever experience is supposed to be had in the first place. I mean, maybe the whole point of Gantz as intended by the author was to make you hate the main character. I personally think that's fucking stupid, but you never know. Because like I said, it's weird. You sort of get the feeling that they were trying to deliver some kind of message to the audience, but you don't know what it is[4]. On the other hand, there may be some fruit to that salad, because even just random background characters are absolute fucking arsehats, and maybe they were going for a "IT WAS HUMANS WHO WERE THE TRUE EVIL!" message, which is then reinforced by showing alien characters and mysterious sphere dudes who are quite blatantly just as if not more evil than the human characters.

Without spoiling too much (ideally, without spoiling anything at all), maybe some people die. If that is the case, I'm not telling you which ones, but be on your toes. Besides, I know some of you kids just watch stuff because random people die[5], so I'm just mentioning that for your sake.

Animation
Obvious CGI is obvious. But the other parts are fine, I guess. Sorta. Everyone's faces are fucking weird, but maybe that's just how it was in 2003[6], or these Gonzo[7] people just suck[8], or maybe it's just a deliberate design choice. But anyway, there's not much to say here, it's pretty average. It's not notably a clusterfuck, and not notably my eyes are having an orgasm for how cool this looks.

Soundtrack
First things first, I'm going to complain about the opening theme. Now don't get me wrong, it's actually not that bad, it's like a combination of big beat and hip-hop and some rock subgenre, but there's the problem there. It sounds like I'm watching Tony Hawk's Fucking Pro Skater: The Animation or some s**t. Not whatever it is Gantz is supposed to be. I'm not sure why they chose it, the lyrics don't even really have anything to do with the series either. Is the manga different and more fitting of that[9]? Was the director going to take Gantz into a different direction into a sort of "cool kids 90s-esque action" show and it would have made sense as an opening theme, but then he changed his mind? Are these Rip Slyme folks friends with the music choose people at Gonzo? Apparently they don't consider it significant either, it's not even a single. It's like track 3 on some EP they did that has no connection to anything. Did they run out of budget for licensing things or contracting a band to make a specific opening theme, so they had to just look for some random band, and they were just like "Oh okay, for like 500 yen we'll let you use this song that we just came up with"? Do I just not know? I don't get it. But like I said, it's not actually a bad song, I'd consider it listen-worthy, just that it's entirely irrelevant.

The ending theme is just some random female singer ballad that I didn't pay much attention to, and so it will not be elaborated on further.

As for the main score it doesn't exist. Yet another case of the creators are too cool to release a CD, or even a bonus extra on some Bluray set that's spread across different volumes and you have to pay $599 US dollars for the whole thing, or just chuck it on iTunes[11], or the composer[12] kept the master tapes lying around and the rights and just put it on the intertubes one day, or any of that s**t. It's actually not a bad soundtrack, there's a few moments on there where I was hoping there was a soundtrack release. However, it suffers from the same problem as the opening theme in that none of it fucking fits. Okay, some of it does. But there's too many scenes in where they just had the completely wrong music playing, and not in a 'deliberately invoke dissonance just to f**k with the viewer way', it becomes very distracting and ruins what might have been some intense, touching, or otherwise noteworthy moments.

Dubbing, DVD stuff, that sort of localisation-related thing
The voice acting isn't FUCKING TERRIBLE HOLY s**t WHY, but it's not that great, either. It's below average erring on the side of detracting from the overall experience. So, ehh. The translation team referenced Shaft unironically, so they lose points for that. Yeah, I know. That was just one line. It bugged me. I don't even know why it bugged me. Maybe because it wasn't that funny. Maybe because I'm not old enough to actually know what Shaft is other than it was on the Simpsons once with that episode where they go to a Japanese restaurant and Homer eats the fugu. Maybe because it was just thrown in there. Maybe because I'm actually a s**t reviewer and I'm just looking for something to nitpick.

DVD sucks. Sorry, Madman. The whole thing is one title and the episode/chapter markers are all over the fucking place, so if you try to watch one episode individually from the menu, you'll find yourself starting at some point in the ending credits of the last episode, or halfway through the opening credits, or who fucking knows when else. Even worse if you're a person who likes to rip their DVDs into a nice organised media library. Makes it a bit harder to watch because you have to constantly get up and fiddle with your media player if you're not just watching everything in one sitting. Apparently it has a documentary and some other things, but I think I forgot to watch it. Oh well.

Why you shouldn't watch this with your kids
Alrighty! Here's what I've been fucking waiting for. This will be the huge meaty part of this review. The fun part. Perhaps even the whole selling point of Gantz. Remember how I was saying this had an R rating when a lot of other animes deserving of that rating don't, so the standards must be pretty high? Because it still has an R rating regardless of whether I said that or not. Anyway, if you have to ask the question "Does this contain content I may find objectionable?" then the answer is already yes. Because perhaps one of the intentions of Gantz is to make you uncomfortable. If you run out of your living room screaming and vomiting and posting to Tumblr that you think it should be banned, it has already won. So what's the best way to approach this paragraph? Well, the other day, and some other days, I was reading about how in Muricaland they have their ESRB thing where they don't just give ratings to video games like you see on the box, they also contain detailed points about what is considered objectionable in that video game but still making it all generic and spoiler-free, like "The game includes instances of comical/bodily humor: a Pokémon with animated mucous dripping from its nose" or "During the course of the game, players can unlock/obtain character trophies that depict female characters in revealing outfits (e.g., short skirts, moderate amounts of cleavage)."[13] or "One character emits flatulence gas clouds to attack opponents." or "In a handful of missions, players are tasked with killing police officers and dispensing “mayhem” to complete objectives."... you get the point.
Anyway, it inspired me to do a similar thing for Gantz and perhaps future reviews, just to make a point of how inappropriate this one is.

- A character refuses to help an old woman with directions to a train station.
- Two characters are hit by a train, which results in decapitation which is fully depicted with blood.
- Frequent strong coarse language is found in dialogue throughout the series.
- Over the course of the story, many alien characters are killed with unrealistic guns that cause explosions.
- Multiple characters are depicted as their bodies being created slowly and the insides of their bodies are visible while they are being partially constructed.
- Certain characters are revealed to be members of the Yakuza, or other gangs.
- Many characters frequently appear naked with nipples being shown but no penises or vaginas visible.
- A character is implied to have attempted suicide by slashing their wrists in a bathtub while naked, which is then depicted later.
- A character attempts to rape another character.
- References to a character having an erection are made.
- Characters are tasked with killing aliens and are encouraged towards this goal via monetary rewards.
- Several characters' heads explode for a reason that is not made apparent at the time.
- A child-like alien character is killed on-screen mercilessly and is depicted as being helpless.
- An alien character kills multiple human characters.
- A character uses supernatural powers to perform dangerous stunts which could result in injury if attempted in real life.
- A character is injured in a fight which prompts another character to retaliate with hand to hand combat.
- An alien character is physically restrained by a supernatural device.
- A character urges another character to murder an alien character, but as the latter character does not, kills the alien instead.
- A character threatens another character with a fantasy-style gun.
- A school bully threatens another character with violence in exchange for large amounts of money.
- A suit that enhances strength is revealed to be powered by a character's erections.
- A character is shown carrying around a case of teeth that he has removed from his victims.
- Two characters, including a child, are revealed to live with a family member who frequently commits acts of domestic abuse, both physically and verbally and other methods such as denial of food.
- A homeless character begs another character to give them a place to stay and offers to be a "pet" in exchange. Sexual fantasies are shown as a result.
- A character purchases condoms with the intent of using them for sexual intercourse.
- A character reluctantly agrees to another character sexually touching them.
- A gang of bikers are depicted pulling down a character's pants and underwear.
- A homosexual character is beaten severely due to a character being told the homosexual character is going to rape them.
- A biker gang kills another rival gang over a territorial dispute.
- A character taunts other characters for relying on others and tells them they will die.
- A character fires a fantasy gun at another character in retaliation for attempting to punch them, this causes that character's head to implode.
- A group of characters refuse to help another character who is in immediate danger of death, who refuses to apologise for murdering another character.
- A character's eardrums are burst and their eyes explode.
- Two characters are intimidated by another character with a gun into going into dangerous situations.
- A child character is depicted naked (buttocks are shown) to urinate.
- An elderly character is killed off-screen, the corpse is shown immediately afterwards with blood coming from their eyes and mouth.
- A character's head is torn off by a giant bird.
- A slightly effeminate male is referred to with derogatory homophobic slurs.
- A character threatens to shoot their spouse with one of the guns present in the series in a domestic argument.
- A religious priest tells several characters they will go to hell.
- Two characters have fully depicted sexual intercourse.
- Two characters talk openly about killing homeless people for enjoyment, and do so. Many beaten up faces are shown.
- A character is crushed by a giant animated statue.
- Multiple characters are killed by having their torsos cut off.
- A character is killed by having their lower body dissolved by acid.
- A character's arm and leg are burnt off.
- A character asks for another character to shoot them due to the pain they are experiencing.
- An alien stabs a character in the heart, killing them.
- Many other things, I didn't go and re-watch the whole series to add every single point possible

So you get the idea. That writing style just isn't me, so I won't be doing that for future reviews, but this section will still be here with similar intentions.

That ending tho
I'll try not to spoil much, but anyway: It's bullshit. I'm really not exaggerating when I say this is the most bullshit ending I've ever seen. I couldn't even spoil it for you anyway, because that would involve knowing what the f**k happens. As it turns out, the last arc completely deviates from the manga, which explains a lot. A lot of stuff in that last arc just feels like it was just pulled straight out of someone's arse, and then the ending. What ending? I would almost say it's not even an ending at all. Is everyone dead? Is everyone alive? It's not even one of those metaphor things where it doesn't _directly_ tell you what happens, it just straight out literally doesn't tell you. There is nothing to even figure out. Like for example you might take Evangelion's ending, and be like "Well that's a metaphor for coming out of depression or some s**t", or you might watch Code Geass[14] and be like "Well that had plot holes everywhere and was a really underwhelming finish to an awesome series". You can't do that here. There's nothing that actually happens for you to interpret.

So what do I do? Read the manga? I guess I have to really, because it sounds like from what I can gather that it actually wraps things up and then keeps going and is overall an entertaining experience. Can't find it on the eBays... except in French, which I can't read. I don't like being left to what is basically piracy, but if I have no choice, fine. I'll read it online one day. Will I review it again when that happens? Maybe. If you want me to.

Final score: What the f**k / 10

Oh yeah, here's some Facebook shitposting.

[1] And not just because I failed to write this review while it was still fresh in my head.
[2] Evangelion's not that bad for that aspect, actually. But it is the most prominent example, hence why I mention it here.
[3] f**k Serial Experiments Lain.
[4] More accurately, I don't know what it is. And hey, maybe I'm just an idiot. Or maybe I just don't get metaphors. But still.
[5] I haven't seen that Game of Thrones thing that you whippersnappers rave on about, or that Attack on Titan thing, but that seems to be the focus of them.
[6] It wasn't.
[7] They also did the music video for "Breaking the Habit" by Linkin Park around the same time, but I haven't seen any cheesy AMVs combining the two yet.
[8] They don't, Bokurano was just fine and there's some other prominent series they animated that I haven't seen but maybe are also good.
[9] Not the case from what I've read, the manga appears to be just as fucked up. I've seen some image where it's Hitler's head on a naked female body and he's saying "The god you cling to does not exist" or some s**t, and that was before I saw this series. Maybe that's why I purchased it in the first place, because I was like "Cool! Naked female Hitler". Sadly, there is no Naked Female Hitler[10] in this series.
[10] If any of you are starting a band, I recommend adding Naked Female Hitler to the pool of names.
[11] Yeah I know, that wasn't around back in the days of 2003, but they can still put a soundtrack up retroactively. My point is that they don't care.
[12] Apparently, it was by Natsuki Togawa and that dude who did the Fairy Tail soundtrack later in life. So it's not as though the soundtrack was an afterthought if they bothered finding two people for it, or so I would think.
[13] That was from SSB4 incidentally and IT FUCKING DOES NOT CONTAIN REVEALING OUTFITS YOU FUCKING PURITAN ARSEFUCKS YOU FUCKING GOT THARJA REMOVED YOU FUCKERS! WHAT ARE YOU JUST FUCKING OFFENDED BY THE FUCKING FEMALE BODY? DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO DRESS UP IN FUCKING BURKAS INSTEAD? DO YOU JUST TRAVEL OVER TO THE MIDDLE FUCKING EAST AND BE ALL LIKE "I REALLY LOVE THE WAY EVERYONE IS DRESSED HERE, I WISH MY COUNTRY WAS THIS MODEST"? f**k YOU
[14] Psst... that's what's up next. Yes, I'm aware I have obviously already watched it.


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SatoMew

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Re: Zowayix's Procrastinated Anime Reviews
« Reply #11 on: September 14, 2015, 03:24:18 pm »
I like reading these reviews even if I hadn't seen any particular anime you've reviewed yet.

Same here, it even reminded me to look up some of the anime I haven't watched yet. I think he should write more of these :P

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Re: Zowayix's Procrastinated Anime Reviews
« Reply #12 on: October 18, 2015, 06:58:43 am »
Yes, I'm still alive. Not to worry SatoMew, I will do just that. Just so we're clear, I do enjoy making these reviews. However, yet again, the black dog does not. Someone should really euthanise that dog, or maybe just kick it in the groin. I don't know how that would help, but it's a metaphor for mental illness anyway, so... I don't know where I'm going with that one. You know, just f**k all that. Never mind. The point here is that today I will be revisiting a series that I have watched many eons ago by the name of Code Geass. So I'm going to be reviewing it. Well, obviously.

So for those of you who don't know what Code Geass is, and I'm not going to be all like "OMG LIEK U DONT KNO WHAT TEH COGE DEASS IS U STUPID f**k LIVING UNDER A ROCK???///", because maybe your life just didn't happen to go down a path where you end up hearing of a specific anime. That's entirely possible. Oh right, I was telling you hypothetical people what Code Geass is. So it's about terrorism and giant robots and s**t, in some alternate universe where America doesn't exist and apparently that's not a good thing. I used to think it was the greatest thing since something funny that avoids the "greatest thing since sliced bread"[1] cliche. Is it still a pretty cool guy? Well, that's why I'm reviewing it. To find out.

Stuff
I think I'll just merge my pastly used 'Characters' heading into this one, because it feels weird as a category on its own, and I never know the best way to start off. You'd think I'd get better with practice, but I suck. Anyway, what the meat in Code Geass's burger is made of is what I like to call (as an analogue to physical action) "mental action". That's the best thing I can think of to describe the sort of clever tricks and mindgames that they come up with. That sort of thing. Maybe I should just call them mindgames, to reduce the risk that people don't know what I'm talking about, which they don't anyway. So as I was saying, you have a lot of mindgames going on, at least on Lelouch's part. It's like, you watch it, and you're all like "Why does he do this dumb or weird thing?" and then later on it's like "This is why he did this dumb or weird thing", and you're like "Woah, dude." or something. It sounds better than it sounds.

On the other hand, some of you may have just come here for the giant robots. That's fine, maybe you just don't want to think about stuff and just watch stuff blowing up. I disagree with your worldview and suggest you watch Transformers or some other kiddy American movie if you want that, but oh well. If you did watch this for that reason, the giant robot part is cool enough to possibly entertain you. However, it's not the main focus of the show, so you are going to have to sit through the parts that I like and you hypothetically don't.

It does have some comedy moments, and they manage to actually give you a break from all the murdering and thinking to actually be funny. Too many these days are all like "Hahahahaha, that dude just got kicked in the balls or whatever, laugh at it", or other things that just aren't funny.

Lelouch is quite polarising for a main character, personally I think he's alright. I haven't even bothered watching the various spinoffs of this show, and while it's not the entire reason that they don't have Lelouch in them, it's a big reason. He basically defines Code Geass. Without him you might as well be watching... I dunno. More like.... Code Pee-ass, because it would be like pee, and arse. Some bad thing.

The supporting cast are also half good and half not so good. You have Lelouch's various friends who are there for comic relief, and maybe they get involved in his not-so-comic mishaps at times, I won't spoil anything for you. But it does a good job of making sure you actually enjoy them so that if anything happens to them, and I'm not saying that necessarilly will, it really impacts upon you. Except for Nina, who is a stupid racist f**k. Fucking Nina. But even the "villains", if there really are any in a story that openly debates the morals of whether you should do X in order to achieve Y, are enjoyable to watch while still being a believeable threat.

So, speaking of that, there's a lot of introspection and philosophy in this one. I tend to ignore it, but perhaps there's lessons to be learned for us all somewhere in this show, perhaps don't do what I did and try to learn about being a person from Lelouch's character. Perhaps stuff about all the war and slavery that happens. The worldbuilding is quite good around that, in some parts they go into a lot of detail and show that they did a bit of work building up the backstory and setting, though it's still nitpickable at times.

Animootion
Absolutely smootheriffic and the robots are fun to watch without having too much s**t on the screen all at once and you can't see what's going on. Some may argue the character designs look kinda weird, I personally think that when you're watching it you don't notice, but when you're not watch it you're like "Haha, Lelouch's arms are really long". But overall watching it in 1080p is worth the buying the Blurays.

Soundtrack
So, first up. I'm gonna talk about the opening themes. They are, for the most part, a complete load of s**t.

Well, perhaps that's not nice. I mean, they're alright by themselves. But this has the same problem that Gantz has, but worse. Take the first one, Colors by FLOW for example. What the f**k is this? It's a decent song, but what the f**k does this have to do with the feel of the show? It's like an opening theme for.. It doesn't even sound like an opening theme for anything, really.

The second opening by Jinn with the track name I can't remember is much better, though. It actually fits, and it's also a really good song if you can adjust to the vocals. But then R2 comes along and replaces it with some O2 by Orange Range, which I would almost say sucks, and sounds even less like an opening theme than Colors. I didn't even bother listening to the other Flow one they use near the end of R2.

I do love the background music though, despite coming in 4 volumes total and therefore being expensive I consider it worth paying for. It's (sort of) unique because they use other instruments than strings, and in fact quite a lot of brass. Still an orchestral style, but it's one of the best out there because it's... good. I dunno, it's just really good. There's some variation in some tracks as well where they sound all Mexican, but those one's aren't quite as good.

Of special mention is the fictional Britannian national anthem 'All Hail Britannia!', which pulls you straight into the world of Code Geass and makes you feel the feeling of living in one of those good old oppressy dictatorships, as well as just being a cool guy song. It's actually completely in English and has lyrics by some random Australian painter, but it sounds Japanese because the choir singing it has a strong accent I guess.

Localiszszation
First off, shout outs to that distributor in the UK for sucking. I got the Blurays from there, and... episodes 23 and 24 were in French. French or Japanese. I'm a dubs man and every single last other episode was in English and Japanese dual audio. Go figure. Here I am doing the right thing by paying for it, and I ended up having to torrent those two anyway.

But once you get over that hurdle: The dub is great. If any idiot claims that all dubs are terrible, point them to this. Everyone loves Lelouch's voice by the infamous Johnny whatshisface Bosch. Even in Japan they love it. Even the actress who did Rika in Higurashi is here and manages to not sound completely stupid. Everyone is great.

Points will be taken off Funimation or whoever it was though for removing all the references to Pizza Hut. That's product placement that I'm perfectly okay with. I would buy Pizza Hut all the fucking time if they had left it in.

NSFWness
Well, I watched it as a kid. Okay, teenager. However old I was back in 2009 or whenever it was on ABC that one time. I'm pretty sure I was watching it back in high school. I was going to be all like "I watched it as a kid and I turned out fine", but I didn't. But I don't think that's because of this show. What you may want to know as a parent, is that apart from the obvious blowing s**t up that you get in a show about terrorism, and the obvious terrorism that you get in a show about terrorism, is that there's a fair bit of blood and murder and stabbing. Not like all the blood all the time every time though.

There's also some nudity that they didn't censor, namely nipples. Clearly that has traumatised me for life. That's like for a few seconds in one episode though. No sex scenes and no swearing in this one that I can think of.

Ending
It's around episode 14 of season 2 where you still ask 'Why the hell did they do dumb thing?', except this time you're not asking with interested curiousity, you're actually asking as to why a character would do something completely stupid which feels contrived in order to engineer a certain situation. And you don't later find out that it was some clever plan, either. That character was just an idiot for no reason. And then around episode 22 or so, it drops a whole load of bullshit on you that just sounds like they made it up then and there, even though it's presented as a plot twist that explains the whole series. I won't say that much about the final episode, because maybe some people here haven't watched it, but it's a whole load of s**t.

It doesn't even feel like an ending, really. You just feel like the show's not actually over yet. Even just a while ago before I started typing I thought to myself "Wait a minute, don't I still need to finish watching Code Geass?", before realising that I did.

The part where I say "Overall, blah blah blah"
Is this still my favourite thing ever? I dunno. Probably not. I think I'm still out there searching for the perfect anime, and this isn't perfect. Mostly because the last half is nowhere near as good as the first half. I remember back in the day, everyone else was saying the same thing, but I always stuck up for it. Dunno why, but now that I'm older, I've made up my mind that R2 just pales in comparison to the absolutely amazing first season, and part 2 of it is why this isn't a perfect anime. It's a shame really, maybe one day they'll make an alternate ending starting from that point.

Final score: Good / 10

There's also an OVA which is about Alice in Wonderland, and I have only one thing to say: WHY? WHY???????? WHY???????????? WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS???? It's... I mean it's not an abomination as such, but it still feels like one watching it, and I still wonder either way who was all like "You know what this all needs? An OVA where everyone is from Alice in Wonderland". I dun get it.

Tune in next time where I will hopefully write a review on time for once. Admittedly, this one was kind of rushed[2], but oh well. Oh yeah, here's me pissing off my Facebook friends.

[1] What's so great about sliced bread, anyway? You leave fucking bread in the cupboard for like 2 days and already it's like "lol green s**t everywhere". f**k bread. It's been what, 30 millenia of bread, and 90 years since modern bread was invented, and you still haven't figured out how to make it fucking preservable?
[2] Only 2 footnotes? Damn, now I feel bad about myself.


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Zowayix

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Re: Zowayix's Procrastinated Anime Reviews
« Reply #13 on: November 06, 2015, 02:12:35 am »
Final score: Tuturu / 10


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Zowayix

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Re: Zowayix's Procrastinated Anime Reviews
« Reply #14 on: December 06, 2015, 06:26:35 am »
Never mind that one... I thought I might be funny by sending my review back in time, but then I decided it's not that great as a score.

So here we are for another anime review, this time it will be Steins;Gate, because it's Back to the Future week or whatever, and it's about... time travel? And Dr. Pepper? Microwaved bananas? Some grill who says 'Tuturu'? I think. Well, perhaps I'll understand some more of those dank memes that anime pages post on Facebook all the time. I mean, I guess you could say that about any anime: By watching it, you will have increased knowledge of anime culture. But this one is more notable than the other animes, because a lot of other people watch it. Anyway, I've been informed that it's worth watching, so it's probably not one of those animes that everyone talks about but it's actually a whole load of s**t.

Plot/writing
So this is a suspensy type a show, I guess, it's one of those things where people like me say it's one of those shows where you can't describe it, but it's actually perfectly describable by a competent person who isn't myself. I guess I might compare it to Durarara, except instead of supernatural themes, you have sci-fi, and instead of gangs, you have evil organizations and conspiracies.

So it's pretty cool. Steins;Gate starts off slow, but not boring slow, just quietly setting up the scene for what's about to come next by introducing all the characters, and having some initial plot points which are enough to keep things interesting. It's not until maybe episode 4 or 5 or so where you get to take a bite into the juicy, meaty goodness that is Steins;Gate. Inside you will find mysteries and conspiracies and suspenseries that will keep you guessing for days, or 22 minutes, depending on how marathon-y you like to watch your anime. Enough science-fiction material which goes quite towards the hard end of the Mohs scale that you can annoy your friends, family, and people you are forced to put up with at work by babbling about things like world lines and divergence numbers and other s**t that may or may not actually exist[1], plot twists more unexpected than Snape killing Dumbledore, and you might hav a giggle ther m8 at some points. There's nothing that I can find fault with in this section, really.

On that sci-fi stuff, props[2] need to be given to whoever the writers were (Nitroplus or some s**t?) for the amazing level of detail that goes into the sciency things. Now, I'm not saying that the banana microwave stuff is definitely real. But some of the plot elements, like CERN and the IBM 5100 are actually real things in real life albeit the names have been very very very slightly changed because... well, without saying too much, the subject of some allusions made in the VN and therefore this anime wouldn't take kindly to how they are depicted. And John Titor was actually a thing on the intertubes before this was written, which was pretty cool. Fucked my mind completely when I found that out. I mean, what if all the other stuff is real too? What if everything in this story actually really did happen in real life? Maybe it did. But other than that, the scientific explanations the characters give are pretty believable, and maybe there's some truth to how time travel would work if it existed, or maybe it does exist and nobody's told us about it.

Characters

I normally take this section out, but for this review I'm bringing it back, just because of how great the characters are in this one. You could have a spin-off where it's just various antics of Steins;Gate characters with no plot in particular, and it wouldn't be anywhere near as good actually, but it'd still be alright. First off, let's get my love letter to Okabe out of the way.

Right from the start, you know Okabe is gonna be good. He's got one heck of a good evil laugh, for starters. In the dub, anyway, but I'll get to that. Now when I say you could make a spin-off series just having the Steins;Gate characters doing stuff, I mean you could just have a spin-off where Okabe is the only character. I mean, how could you not love him? Intelligent mad scientist who definitely fulfills his responsibilities for the 'mad' and 'scientist' parts. And does actually care about his friends and loved ones and that sort of thing too.

I guess he reminds me of myself in a lot of ways, except he's not that much of a pathetic loser. Without revealing too much of plot details, he's the type that doesn't actually handle social situations well, and just invents a character or facade if you will of sorts to try and manage his way through life, and s**t like that. Has the habit of saying things without any regard for subtlety whatsoever, and often finds himself wondering why something that he said or did wasn't received well. All that s**t that I do. Anyway, like I said, if I went too much into it, I'd spoil the show for you, so I'll move on to the other less cool characters.

So you also have Mayuri, who seems like one of those characters that acts airheaded but actually isn't, but actually really is just airheaded. Not like stupid, just in a series where everyone is a scientist or h4x0r or ninja or some s**t, she's just some ordinary grill who just wants to play with her collectible toys and eat chicken strips. This is a good thing though, every serious bunch of people needs their innocent and sweet-hearted character who just sits at the side and sews cosplay outfits, and may or may not be involved more than I am going to divulge.

The other main characters are Daru, who is your obligatory fat guy, and let's be honest, kind of an accurate representation of the computer genius and otaku that he is. Provides a lot of the comic relief of the series, which may or may not make it more interesting when he gets involved in some heavy plot points which may or may not happen[3]. The other main character is f**k I fucked up the pluralization and general sentenceism and every aspect of what I just wrote f**k. Anyway, so Makise. The [apparently] obligatory tsundere character, though somehow, she manages to come off as actually likeable, which believe me, is a very impressive achievement. Probably because her tsun side is just having sass and attitude that we love Okabe and other male characters for, and not just kicking people in the balls and stuff which wouldn't be accepted if a male character did it. So you know, equality and s**t. That, and she's also shown to be a talented scientist without actually being too much of a Mary Sue about it. Point being, she's not like the stupid git from Oreimo.

The lesser characters who are kind of main characters but also kind of aren't are fleshed out well, for example, you have Faris Nyannyan, who is a catgirl, and is a girl who is partially a cat and hence a catgirl, and works at a maid cafe where all the maids are catgirl maids[4], which is why she is a catgirl. Apart from being a catgirl, she probably fills the role of 'kawaii desu grill who turns out to have a more serious side later' that you thought Mayuri filled but doesn't. Not quite a main character though, but she is a catgirl. And then you have Moeka, Luka and Mr. Braun and, I lumped those together, because I really can't say much about either of them without giving away some s**t. Or can I? Maybe I'm just kidding, and to throw some plausible deniability into the blender, I actually am kidding about one of those, and I won't tell you which one. Mwahahaha!

What I will say about Luka is that she's evidently actually transgender and actually comes out as such at one point, but she still gets treated as a crossdressing male by other characters. Even some official marketing material refers to her as male with 'he' pronouns, so that's a bugger. Japan's a pretty conservative society in terms of LGBT rights and issues, so some would say I shouldn't expect much, but I'll expect what I damn well want.

Culinary additions to enhance the viewing experience
A new section I may or may not feel like adding to these reviews just for fun, where I eat and/or drink stuff while watching this anime that happens to be relevant or whatever. So obviously we're going to drink some Dr. Pepper.

It's actually not referred to by name in the series and is called "DK Pepper" instead, because this ain't no product placement, they just thought it would be funny I guess to have Okabe drink Dr. Pepper. Funnily enough sales went up in Japan when the VN was released anyway, and now they have Steins;Gate branded Dr. Pepper vending machines and s**t, so they still ended up with their product being placed. Also, can I just say: This s**t is fucking expensive. $6.52 per litre? And it's not even in the soft drink section, it's like tucked away in the bottom shelf of the imported foods section where you hardly even notice it. Oh well. I did it for the anime. I do everything in life for the anime.

I didn't try actually microwaving a banana, because maybe that actually sets fire to your microwave, or something. Actually, here's a stupid coincidence magazine for you: My microwave broke shortly after I finished watching Steins;Gate. Just wouldn't heat stuff anymore. I wasn't happy. I blame The Organization for messing with it. RIP in pasta, microwave. You have served your role well.

SFWity
Yeah, not one to watch with the kiddies. So you have the animated violence present on the cover, it's not really that bloody actually but there is the occasional scene where a lot of blood is spilled, and maybe someone dies at some point or maybe some more people die. Also, you have the aforementioned unfortunate treatment of Luka, which isn't a category of rating, but fits into the category of 'these are some things which viewers may find objectionable', which is the entire point of ratings that I think a lot of people miss. And I think someone says 's**t' once. Can't remember. No nudity for you, but some nudity is present off-screen and sexual themes are at times alluded to (in the comic relief parts).

Animation quality
Smooth and buttery and delicious, and ready to be spread on toast. The characters' eyes have a sort of unique style to them, not stupid looking, just unique. I think they're trying to emulate the style of the VN, but I'll just have to blindly agree with that, because I don't know what the VN looks like. But it's all cool, man. There's only one scene that I know of that contains a single animation error, and that's only because I saw it on Reddit afterwards. But you won't notice it. Must have been for like 1 frame or something.

Localization
Now here we go. Now we're talking. This is one of the finest prime cuts of dub you will find on the market, and if anyone is out there still saying subs are better, you kick them in the face and then watch this anime and ignore them. You don't have to kick them in the face. But everyone's voices are top notch, and makes those characters all the more believable and likeable. Nobody is overly hammy, except for Okabe when he's being hammy in character. When the scene calls for someone to display varying levels of emotion, they will display that emotion and you will feel that emotion with them. Stuff like that. The dialogue is sensible, Daru tends to talk like some 90s skateboarder, but that's just because of how Daru actually talks.

I dunno about the Japanese version, because I didn't watch it. I have seen a few clips on the youtubes and heard some character songs though, and I actually think they kinda sound like s**t. Particularly Okabe's voice, it's like what the f**k even was that? You call that an evil laugh? I didn't feel the mad scientist vibe coming from him at all.

Soundtrack and themes
So, starting with the opening theme: Itō Kanako returns from the VN, the rest of the franchise (i.e. Chaos;Head and Robotics;Note), Higurashi Matsuri, and all those other things she did to sing Hacking to the Gate. It's an okay song, and I would rate it 8/810. It's an energetic J-pop-electronic-rock-I-actually-don't-know-s**t-about-genres number with some powerful vocals, catchy hook, nifty electronic effects and a s**t music video. The problem is that it's not the VN's theme Skyclad Observer, which is a solid 10/10 and therefore better[5]. You do get to hear that as an insert song near the end of the anime though, and when it drops you will most likely jizz in your pants. Other than that, the opening doesn't change halfway like most animes do, which makes me wonder if this was adapted on a low budget and they couldn't afford two opening themes.

The ending theme has some title I can't be bothered to remember, it's nothing to write home about, but it's not too boring. It's just some medium-not-quite-soft slow rock type of song, I admittedly skipped it most of the time. But I will tell you here to not skip it, because there's actually some after-credits and during-credits shenanigans, and you'll be like "Wait s**t what was that f**k s**t gotta not skip that".

And that leaves us with the background music. Now this is published by Kadokawa, so once again we're in the same situation where while you do technically have a soundtrack it's a bonus extra on the Japanese Bluray release and not available anywhere else. It's different in that it's not 99999 different volumes for each release that only has 2 episodes on it and instead it's 2 of the releases just happen to have a soundtrack with them, but it's still overpriced and difficult to obtain (probably even if you live in Japan). Point is, I ain't buying that s**t. You may wonder why they do this, and there is a (bad) reason why they do and it boils down to they have to, but that's another story.

The thing is, it's one of those soundtracks where when you watch the anime it sounds like the greatest and best most wonderful thing in the entire universe, and then you obtain it later, and it's like "Eh, okay, whatever". Still doesn't suck, but it has no standout tracks to speak of, and is mostly forgettable. It could of course be the case that the VN's BGM is used in the anime (considering its opening theme was), and some song I liked from it wasn't on the anime soundtrack as a result. Anyway, for what is there, it's mostly dark electronic stuff with some emotional piano tracks for the emotional piano scenes.

Ending, sequels, and other s**t
After previous reviews for non-purely-comedy series-and-not-movies in this thread, I've had enough of complete bullshit endings where they either just derail everything the show was about and leave numerous gaping plot holes in its wake, are completely incomprehensible, or just leaves you plain unsatisfied with everything. So this is sort of a nice change of pace, because it's not so bad, you know? At no point during the ending did I think "Why did that happen? How? What even was that?", it's an actual finale, you can actually understand perfectly what's happening, and doesn't invalidate the rest of the story completely, you know, all that s**t.



Nah who the f**k am I kidding it's still s**t. f**k. f**k. f**k! I mean, it's less bullshit than other animes I've reviewed, and I mean a whole fuckload less bullshit, but that's not really a bar which is set very high, I mean you could literally eat s**t and it would be less bullshit than say Gantz or Code Geass up there. The positive things I said about Steins;Gate's ending are still true, it's just that you sort of sit there after you watch it, and you think "What about x? What happened to y? Why didn't they expand more on z?", and that sort of thing. It was the best fucking entree and main course I've ever tasted, but where's my fucking dessert? Get me some fucking deep fried ice cream, you motherfucker.

However, perhaps I'm in luck. There is an OVA, a movie, there's another anime coming out later next year, and some side stories which are only released in VN or LN or whatever format. So let's go through those.
The OVA is actually kinda s**t, it tries to wrap up some loose ends, but just raises more questions and from what I've read isn't actually considered canon, because it doesn't really make sense. And it tries to be funny, which is actually a really important thing for an OVA to do after a heavy series like this. You've just watched some intense stuff, now here's a nice comedic thing so you can relax, it's like the characters have been through all sorts of s**t as well, and they've earned a rest. But there's another problem here, the OVA isn't funny. It's like this was written by someone other than the original writers (I think it's anime exclusive, so this would make sense) who doesn't know how to make Okabe a loveable arsehat, and instead he's just an arsehat.
While the movie sounds interesting, it hasn't been dubbed yet, and since the English voices blow the Japanese version out the water, I'd prefer to wait until it gets dubbed. I hope it will, anyway. I'm pretty sure sales of Steins;Gate in the "west" have been quite successful, so that'd be the determining factor as to whether they do or not. I think I read something about it happening in 2016 but that may have been a rumour or just lies.
And then there's Steins;Gate 0, which is the next VN and anime which apparently expands on the plot a whole lot more. I have a genuine excuse for not watching it, because it genuinely hasn't been released yet. I'm not a time traveler, you know. But if they want to send me the dubbed version back in time to right now, that'd be appreciated.

So given that the movie and 0 might invalidate my issue with the ending that it left some hi-fives hanging, I'm willing to ignore that complaint. And for all I know, maybe the VN is even more thick and juicy as they often are, and I need to go play that as well. It has an English release on PC, what the hell is my excuse? Well, it wouldn't be in this anime reviews thread. And if you take that negative away, there really isn't anything bad at all I can say about Steins;Gate. It truly is one of the best animes I have ever seen, and if someone ran up to me suddenly and asked "QUICKY WHAT'S YOUR FAVE ANIME DUDE" I'd be able to comfortably answer with Steins;Gate. So it wins the "This is a Really Good Anime" Award of 2015[6].


Final score: Yes, it is a good idea to microwave this / 10

[1] f**k if I know.
[2] Is that the right word? Props? Cool points? Recognition? Whatever it is I'm on about.
[3] I'm really bad at deliberately trying to be vague. So I might as well get the spoilers over and done with instead of tiptoeing around them: Kyouma Hououin is Okabe.
[4] Dude, I fucking want a catgirl maid cafe fucking right here. It's like, you know Japan knows that they probably have one, and you don't. And they're probably in there right now, laughing at how you will never travel to Japan because you're too weeb to actually learn Japanese, and there will never be one in Australia. Ever. I mean sure, you got that thing once a year and S3RL plays music and they have Hyperdimension Neptunia catgirls, but that's in Sydney or some s**t, and is once a year.
[5] 10 is a bigger number than 8, as you may know.
[6] Holy s**t, it's going to be 2016 in a few weeks.


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