Glitch City Laboratories Forums

Lab ζ: Le Café du Chrysacier Hameçonné => Creative Movements => Writing => Topic started by: Full Metal Glitch on June 20, 2010, 08:02:05 pm

Title: SSBB II: The Rise of Forbitten
Post by: Full Metal Glitch on June 20, 2010, 08:02:05 pm
Hey guys. I'm a little bit too lazy to post the story here, so I'll give you a clickable link to it.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6042770/1/SSBB_II_The_Rise_of_Forbitten

Put feedback here, please. If you're on FanFiction, you can review there as well.
Title: Re: SSBB II: The Rise of Forbitten
Post by: Chaos Hiruko on June 20, 2010, 11:38:28 pm
Seemed interesting until I saw the Newcomers.

Sephiroth?
Sora?
"Pikachu Trainer"?
Silver the Hedgehog?
Marx?

No.
Title: Re: SSBB II: The Rise of Forbitten
Post by: Full Metal Glitch on June 21, 2010, 04:47:41 am
Yeah, I was on a sugar high.

Sorry, I'll probably fix it.
Title: Re: SSBB II: The Rise of Forbitten
Post by: Chaos Hiruko on June 21, 2010, 10:03:40 am
It's ok.

But let that be a lesson: Never try writing a fanfic while on a sugar high.

Also, the idea of Forbitten? Genius.
Like the Crazy Hand counterpart to Tabuu.

EDIT: Although, there is also a bit of continuity error. All R.O.B.s other than the Ancient Minister (the playable R.O.B.) have been destroyed when the Island of Ancients was destroyed.
Title: Re: SSBB II: The Rise of Forbitten
Post by: Full Metal Glitch on June 21, 2010, 10:33:57 am
LOL, you got that right! No more sugar for me.

Meh, Chappy Five is on the air.

EDIT: Although, there is also a bit of continuity error. All R.O.B.s other than the Ancient Minister (the playable R.O.B.) have been destroyed when the Island of Ancients was destroyed.

Heh...they caught R.O.B and are cloning him.

...Yep, looks like this may be dead soon. Can't help that.
Title: Re: SSBB II: The Rise of Forbitten
Post by: Full Metal Glitch on June 22, 2010, 10:08:22 am
Okay, here's a sneak preview of Chapter Six: Speedsoul.

Master Hand, leading the Smashers, turned to the group, realising R.O.B had disappeared. "Hey, has anyone seen R.O.B?"

The Smashers turned to each other, and Master Hand could hear the occasional "Nope," "Haven't seen him," and "May be dead?"

He then said, "So if no one knows where R.O.B is, we'll press on regardless."

The Ice Climbers piped up with, "We're good at climbing mountains...," Popo said, and Nana finished with, "...So let us lead you all along the way!"

Master Hand said, "Sure! Just don't get us killed, okay?"

"Yup."

IN SUBSPACE

Forbitten laughed insanely as the electric shocks pummeled R.O.B, clones ejecting from the tube. In another nearby factory, Subspace Bombs were being mass produced. These were weaker than the ones borne from the Island of the Ancients, but when several were detonated at the same time, they had as much power.

"The plan is coming along quite well..."

Read Chapter Six: Speedsoul, coming soon to FanFiction.net!
Title: Re: SSBB II: The Rise of Forbitten
Post by: Chaos Hiruko on June 22, 2010, 10:16:59 am
Nice.
Title: Re: SSBB II: The Rise of Forbitten
Post by: Full Metal Glitch on June 22, 2010, 10:20:01 am
Thanks. I probably will type Speedsoul later today.
Title: Re: SSBB II: The Rise of Forbitten
Post by: Full Metal Glitch on June 23, 2010, 07:25:18 am
Chapter Seven is up!

...Wow, not many replies, neh?
Title: Re: SSBB II: The Rise of Forbitten
Post by: Chaos Hiruko on June 23, 2010, 10:10:13 am
I'm not surprised. Not many people here play SSBB, apparantly.
Title: Re: SSBB II: The Rise of Forbitten
Post by: Full Metal Glitch on June 23, 2010, 10:13:07 am
Looks like it, lol.

As for the five Undesirables...

Quote from: Some Guy
I'll kill 'em all, see?
Title: Re: SSBB II: The Rise of Forbitten
Post by: Full Metal Glitch on June 23, 2010, 10:36:04 am
Okay, here's a sneak peek at Chapter Eight. I warn you, it has strong violence, so if you're squeamish or faint of heart, don't read this.

Chapter Eight: The First Strike

Metalhead guided the Smashers through the ruined city, rubble hanging in midair, crumbled buildings...

Master Hand abruptly asked, "Why is all that stuff hanging in midair?"

Metalhead sighed, and turned around. "Look...The planet is paralyzed here. Time has no meaning. Space is still deteoriating as we speak. Dark Tabuu's appearance here speed up the destruction of space even further. Basically, reality is collapsing here."

Master Hand faced him, scared badly. "Y-You mean...?"

"This world is collapsing, and I fear the Smash World will follow."

"Y-you gotta be kidding me..."

"I am not. We still going after Dark Tabuu?"

"I-I guess..."

"Good. Follow me. I need to round up my mercenaries."

The group continued on...seeing awful sights such as a badly mauled corpse tied to a half-rotten power pole...a vicious gang war with numerous casulties...and even a sniper blowing heads off of the innocent. Master Hand heard a loud cry of pain behind him, and he saw Sora staggering, clutching his chest as blood gushed out like a waterfall. Sora collapsed, dead before he hit the ground. "Come on, we can't risk going back. If we do, we might lose another."

As they progressed, they were caught in a particularly violent fight. Fists, knives and bullets flew as they attempted to move through the riot. Pikachu Trainer was the first to drop, a knife in his back and a bullet in his head. Sephiroth followed soon after, hundreds of bullets tearing into his back. Marx dodged everything except a well placed knife between his eyes. Then Silver staggered backward, being stabbed violently by a gangster, and he dropped, numerous stab wounds lacing his torso. Peach ran into an alley and vomited excessively. Metalhead then said gruffly, "I've seen much worse than this. Trust me. I have."

Read Chapter Eight, soon to be on Fanfiction.net!
Title: Re: SSBB II: The Rise of Forbitten
Post by: Chaos Hiruko on June 23, 2010, 02:24:52 pm
Cool. They is dead now.
Title: Re: SSBB II: The Rise of Forbitten
Post by: Full Metal Glitch on June 23, 2010, 02:45:31 pm
Told ya I'd kill them, lawl.

I murdered them for the lulz.
Title: Re: SSBB II: The Rise of Forbitten
Post by: Chaos Hiruko on June 23, 2010, 03:11:56 pm
Ooh, then for a plot twist, they should dissolve into Shadow Bugs, proving that they weren't real and they were spies from Forbitten.
Title: Re: SSBB II: The Rise of Forbitten
Post by: Full Metal Glitch on June 23, 2010, 03:22:44 pm
Well, sorry, no. In Chapter Nine, Forbitten absorbs Metalhead/Saxon and becomes the dragon Illega, and Tabuu is revealed to have not died. I'll bring them back in Chapter Ten as warriors alongside Illega. Yes, and when they die again, they will dissolve into Shadow Bugs, and be proven as spies for Forbitten.

POST EDIT: Here's a preview of Chapter Nine.

Chapter Nine: Forbitten

Metalhead began leading the Smashers toward Dark Castle, where Dark Tabuu, or Forbitten as they knew him, ruled.

DARK CASTLE

"...Are you kidding me? Tabuu, dead? WAHAHA! I don't believe you!"

"But, Your Highness, a man named Saxon killed him with a sword I know as Shadow Ragnell!"

"...Sounds like Saxon to me. Where's he at?"

The door burst apart, and a knife flew in and landed in the guard's back. "Right here."

Forbitten looked up to see Metalhead, Master Hand, and all of the other Smashers.

"Fwahaha. A little too late, I might add, eh? I think you'll find this familiar..." Forbitten held up the dead body of Xemnas, the life stolen from him. "His naivete was useless, for he was gullible, and I took that to my advantage. And since Xemnas slew the Crazy Hand..."

Forbitten rose into the air, and called several Swicannons and a Blahydra. "I'll kill YOU, Master Hand!"

"Not on my watch, you don't!" Metalhead jumped forward, taking out every Swicannon, and decapitating all but one of the Blahydra's heads. The beast then blew itself up for no reason.

"...Saxon, Saxon, Saxon. You were always the fool."

"My name is NOT Saxon!"

"It is, and it always will be. I'm glad Tabuu slew your mercaneries, even if he did die afterwards. Because now...before I kill the Master Hand, I'll make the dimentions rid of you!"

"Try me, big guy!"

"I will."

Forbitten and Metalhead leapt at each other, swords clashing furiously as a swordfight raged on. Forbitten suffered from a stab wound to the chest, and Metalhead a slash in his left shoulder, effectively disarming him. However, he swapped to his right hand and continued his assault. Forbitten was then stabbed in the heart, killing him.

Or so Metalhead thought...

Like this? Read the full chapter at Fanfiction.net!
Title: Re: SSBB II: The Rise of Forbitten
Post by: Chaos Hiruko on June 23, 2010, 03:47:15 pm
Well, sorry, no. In Chapter Nine, Forbitten absorbs Metalhead/Saxon and becomes the dragon Illega, and Tabuu is revealed to have not died. I'll bring them back in Chapter Ten as warriors alongside Illega. Yes, and when they die again, they will dissolve into Shadow Bugs, and be proven as spies for Forbitten.
Ok.
Title: Re: SSBB II: The Rise of Forbitten
Post by: Full Metal Glitch on June 23, 2010, 03:53:31 pm
Interesting, neh? 3 chapters in a day. It'll end at Chapter 11: Ultimatum.

There'll be a oneshot part two that focuses on Illega rising from the dead...who promptly gets killed again by the castle caving in.
Title: Re: SSBB II: The Rise of Forbitten
Post by: Chaos Hiruko on June 23, 2010, 04:47:25 pm
Cool.
Title: Re: SSBB II: The Rise of Forbitten
Post by: Full Metal Glitch on June 24, 2010, 06:45:00 am
I figured :P