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Messages - Bert

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General Discussion / Re: The Glitchy Thread of Topiclessness (#3)
« on: March 19, 2019, 01:37:32 am »
Can I steal your immune system?

No.

Can I steal your immune system?
You want him to get a bacterial infection from breathing and instantly die?!

On second thought.
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General Discussion / Re: The Glitchy Thread of Topiclessness (#3)
« on: March 17, 2019, 05:40:06 pm »
I finished the second draft of my novel in less time than I expected. I'm taking a break from it at the moment, but I've already thought of some things I can remove and ways to ramp up the dinosaur-related violence in some fight scenes. Which kind of amazes me because the dinosaur-related violence is already fairly brutal.

I've been sick this week, so I've spent the time sleeping, eating, and taking medicine. Now I'm finally better (mostly), and I can't sleep because I've slept so much over the past few days. Oops.

I can't remember the last time I was sick. I wanna say, like, 2011.
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General Discussion / Re: The dream thread
« on: March 13, 2019, 06:05:52 pm »
A couple nights ago, I dreamed I was holding my family at gunpoint, got into a standoff with the police, and then got shot.

I mean I know I'm not okay but what the f**k.

Had a dream that there was some DVD that apparently, because it was so fucked up or whatever, you were only legally allowed to watch it if you had attempted suicide before, and you had to have the suicide note attached and sent in somewhere. Because the government said so.

Isn't this how the Grifter creepypasta starts?
7
Writing / Re: Poems
« on: March 01, 2019, 05:16:44 pm »
Ode to the Mammoth Cheese, by James McIntyre:

We have seen the Queen of cheese,
Laying quietly at your ease,
Gently fanned by evening breeze --
Thy fair form no flies dare seize.

All gaily dressed soon you'll go
To the great Provincial Show,
To be admired by many a beau
In the city of Toronto.

Cows numerous as a swarm of bees --
Or as the leaves upon the trees --
It did require to make thee please,
And stand unrivalled Queen of Cheese.

May you not receive a scar as
We have heard that Mr. Harris
Intends to send you off as far as
The great World's show at Paris.

Of the youth -- beware of these --
For some of them might rudely squeeze
And bite your cheek; then songs or glees
We could not sing o' Queen of Cheese.

We'rt thou suspended from baloon,
You'd cast a shade, even at noon;
Folks would think it was the moon
About to fall and crush them soon.
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Generation II Glitch Discussion / Re: Digression about VC inaccuracy
« on: March 01, 2019, 05:11:18 pm »
Lolwut? Cloning on VC Crystal works fine. The timing's just a little trickier. You have to restart the game after the last period in the "SAVING... DON'T TURN OFF THE POWER." message appears. Tap the touch screen and press RESET on the VC menu.
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Pokémon Discussion / Re: Generation 8
« on: February 27, 2019, 05:17:45 pm »
I can't wait to walk down all those straight lines and battle Trainers who carry less than six Pokemon.
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Pokémon Discussion / Re: Generation 8
« on: February 26, 2019, 11:11:46 pm »
inb4 it's yet another rehash of Gen 1 and the other regions are DLC

>Implying we'll ever get more than one region again

Lol silly gaijin kids don't have time to play through more than one region, what with all those smartphone games we think we're competing against for some reason. Btw the event Pokemon will be fifty dollars plus tip :^)

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General Discussion / Re: The dream thread
« on: February 23, 2019, 06:00:02 pm »
Dreamed last night that I was experiencing sleep paralysis, which was apparently brought on by Satan. I don't know. I was pinned and struggling to move, although near the end of the dream I wound up punching my pillow repeatedly while telling the devil to f**k off.

Very meta.

Can someone tell me what unholy force(s) I pissed off to have a dream about Ben fucking Shapiro doing a live-action cameo on Family Guy, of all things, during which he actually said, "OK, this is epic"?

I ship them (/jest) ✿

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Writing / Re: Poems
« on: February 19, 2019, 05:31:29 pm »
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
All your base
Are belong to us.
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Pokémon Discussion / Re: Known or nah?
« on: February 18, 2019, 06:35:32 pm »
Yeah, at least regarding the cut Pokemon.
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Art / Re: Random doodles
« on: February 17, 2019, 05:08:02 pm »
Here's a plesiosaurus with a jetpack strapped to it.
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